Don't Beat Yourself Up - Learn how to accept a compliment and be rewarded for it.

Learning How to Accept a Compliment

Don't Beat Yourself Up - Learn how to accept a compliment and be rewarded for it.

What does "Don't beat yourself up" mean? It means give yourself the same chance you give others. We are so often critical of ourselves. No mistakes, no room for failure, perfection at all times. Life should not be about perfection it should be about doing the best you can be at any given moment. And when someone recognizes that in you, accept it graciously.

How many times has someone given you a compliment and instead of just taking it and saying 'thank you' the way you did as a child, you instead say "well, I could have done better," or "oh really?, I only wore this because I had nothing else to wear"; "I'm not really smart, I just got lucky!" You get the picture.

This kind of negative response makes you appear to be less than you really are and puts the person who gave you the compliment in the position of defending his assessment of you or questioning his own judgment. Someone says to you "your hair looks great!" Your response is "I hate my hair like this, it looks like I cut it wearing a bowl." This says to the other person, You have no taste, or if you do it's incredibly bad. Now both of you are embarrassed because you can't take a compliment.

Learning to accept compliments is not easy, especially for many women. After a certain age girls are often taught to be modest which seems to mean not accepting that you are smart, pretty or that your expertise is on target when it comes to "birding in the Galapagos " or whatever subject you know well.

Can you say "Thank you?"

Of course you can. But do you? When your boss tells you that you did a great job handling the Brown report do you say thank you or do you say "oh it was easy." Or "I didn't have to do much." Never, ever ignore or downplay what you have done to help complete a project or make it a success, no matter how little it seems to you. If your boss considers it an achievement then you should too. Modesty or false modesty is seldom appreciated. While your boss may laugh and say "and he/she is modest too." He may also be rethinking that next step up for you. Remember what you can do in a couple of hours could take someone else a day or two, so accept the kudos. It may get you a raise and a real office instead of a cubicle. The chances are that if it's decided that you are too modest, i.e., not aggressive enough, someone else will get the promotion and you will still be stuck with the work anyway.


Take a Hint from Children

Have you ever noticed a very young child when he or she gets a compliment? They not only say 'thank you' they also tell what else they can do.

There's lesson to be learned here.