A simple philosophy. Share your thoughts here.

Happiness, a beam of sunshine, illuminates the shadows in even the darkest of hearts!

I have managed even through adverse circumstances in my life to find happiness deep down inside – almost like finding precious treasure within a dark cave.  In the past I have at times blamed others for my state of unhappiness and even although the actions of other's may have caused me personal harm, blame is always counterproductive and leads to nothing but bitterness.  Now, instead of looking for flaws in others, I look for potential and in this way I have been able to learn from others and have discovered what real love is about.  Through tough times, in observing the possibilities in others and exploring the possibilities within myself, I have realised that there is a rainbow to be found after every storm.  In facing storms (mine and those of others), I have grown and have come to appreciate everything with which I have been blessed.

I believe that happiness cannot be found in always trying to be better than others, but rather in helping others be the best that they can be and growing through the process myself.  It is in becoming wealthy not in what I have in the way of material possessions but in becoming wealthy in areas that really count – wisdom (which is the application of knowledge) and in love – the love that I receive but far more importantly that which I give out.  

Circumstances and difficult situations have threatened to destroy my optimism at times but I have come to realise that failure is not defeat unless I believe it is.  Failure is not being knocked down but in not getting up and trying again after I have been knocked down.  When I realise that every problem is simply an opportunity in disguise then the way I look at problems changes.

Success is measured in the ability to keep on getting up and in finding new innovative ways to tackle problems.  When the path travelled has become difficult and resolution of a problem has taken a long time, my patience has had a chance to grow.  I have come to learn that all that is worthwhile is worth waiting for.  Happiness does not come from what happens in our lives but in how we learn to deal with what happens.  

Failures are a normal part of life; they do not need to be disasters if I don’t let them destroy my peace.  Happiness is not the absence of conflict but the ability to cope with conflict and to maintain a peace in spite of circumstances.  Fear is the greatest enemy to peace but I try to remember that often fear is but False Evidence Appearing Real.  More than 90% of what we worry never happens and worrying certainly never prevented the worst from happening.  Constructive problem solving is one thing but worrying steals time, our most valuable and precious gift.  To stop worrying takes discipline and determination.  I have had to learn to control my thoughts and work hard at positively affirming the outcome I desire.  Purpose may be birthed deep down inside, but as a seed is planted and needs to be watered in order to take root and grow, so I have had to apply myself to achieve my goals.  It is, however, a work in progress and as I grow, so does my vision and thus my goals.

Mickel de Montaine once said "The pleasant things in the world are pleasant thoughts and the art of life is to have as many of them as possible."  In the bible there is a scripture that states 'As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.' Our thoughts govern our actions and our actions influence our outcomes.  This is a basic law and it may seem to be obvious but so often we neglect the basics and wonder why our circumstances never change.  If we want anything to change, we need to change our attitude or approach.  I find that when something goes wrong, I no longer waste my time asking what I did wrong; rather I spend time thinking about how I can modify my behaviour or actions in order to achieve a positive result out of a negative situation.  Often I have found that I am grateful for the experience once I have moved through it.  

Happiness is my choice of attitude not my constant state of being.  Happiness is something I wear on the outside; the attitude of happiness has the ability to change what I feel on the inside.  It is impossible to smile and to have a happy demeanour on the outside without feeling better on the inside.  We all have a choice whether to be morbid and morose but we also have the choice to live fruitfully, to love, to laugh and to be happy.  Laughter is like sunshine; it illuminates your day and that of others who are touched by its rays.  If we are friendly, people respond to us in a different way.  A smile may happen in a flash but the memory of it can last a lifetime.  It is important that we live so that our memories will be part of our happiness, drawn upon with a deep sense of satisfaction.

In an email I sent a friend recently I tried to explain how I see life, or rather the hardship we suffer in life.  This is an excerpt from that email:

"I have walked (and still walk) a very rocky road in my life and yet I have such a passion and a love for life and value each precious moment of it.  I no longer see what people would conventionally term "hardship" or "suffering" as such.  I could relate my life story in such a manner that you would believe I had suffered horrendously or I could tell it in another way and you would think it was an idyllic existence.  Both stories would be absolutely true .  I use the more difficult moments in my life as a scale of balance against the happiness I have experienced.  I do not think I could appreciate the one so much without the existence of the other."

In everybody’s lives, there are times when sadness threatens to overwhelm and depression can creep in.  We all have the capacity to weep as well as to laugh but sadness should be just for a season, just as winter is replaced by the spring. 

In spite of all sadness and in spite of all pain, which all human beings must inevitably face, it is important that we believe that life is worth living, that there is a purpose to it all.  Everyone will suffer hardship at some time and each can help to lighten the load of someone else.  Somehow in sharing the load of another, your own burden becomes lighter.  When a life is spent in the service of self, it is empty and vacuous but a when it is spent in the service of others, life becomes something of value. 

This story illustrates so well how your happiness (or indeed anything in life) is determined by your choices.

In an ancient village, there was once was a wise old man whom it was reputed knew all things.  It was the custom of the villagers to approach the wise old man when they had difficult questions or conflicts to resolve.  One day, a local boy, approached the old man with a question.  It was the little boy's intention to trick him and he had a mischievous smile upon his freckled face.  With his hand outstretched, the boy asked the old man this question: ‘Old man, in my hand, I hold a butterfly – Is it alive or is it dead?’  The boy was certain that he had finally found a way to fool the wise man for if the old man said that the butterfly was alive, he would merely tighten his grip and kill it and if the old man said that the butterfly was dead, he would release the butterfly to fly away.  Both ways he would prove the old man to be a fool.  He could not help but chuckle with glee.

The wise old man pondered the question for a while with a smile playing on his wrinkled lips and then answered…

The answer to your question young man….lies in your own hands!

© Chanti