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Chanti Niven

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Uncomfortable Change
by Chanti Niven   
Not "rated" by the Author.
     
Last edited: Thursday, May 5, 2005
Posted: Thursday, March 17, 2005

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The State of Perpetual Dissatisfaction vs. Temporary Discomfort.


Have you ever met a person who constantly moans about their circumstances? The kind of person who seems to be unhappy and dissatisfied no matter what life deals out? I have and I am sure you have too.

There are people who are constantly unhappy with their lot in life. A great lesson in life is to learn to practice an attitude of gratitude (I love that one!) but sometimes this attitude leads to complacency. If you are always happy with what you have, you will never strive beyond your circumstances. If you reach a point and settle there you may never move further.

Sometimes dissatisfaction is called for. A state of discomfort may lead to growth.  We can't always see that our short-term discomfort may be for our long-term gain.

When eagles have offspring, they are hatched into a nest lined with soft feathers. The nest is very comfortable for them and they grow up in that safe, warm environment.  When the time comes for them to leave the nest and take flight, they are often unwilling to leave the comfort and safety of the only 'home' they have ever known.  In order for the parent eagles to get their young to leave the nest, they must make the nest uncomfortable. They systematically remove the soft feathers and other material until all that remains are sharp and uncomfortable twigs. Eventually the eaglet becomes very dissatisfied and uncomfortable and it is this state that prods it into taking the next step...and into flight.

I am sure the lesson in that story will be obvious to you.

When you hit obstacles you are being given an opportunity to stretch your mind beyond the immediate problem. Your mind is a powerful tool and I don't believe that any problem is unsolvable if you apply yourself to it in a positive way. Sometimes we may face seemingly insurmountable obstacles and this might tell us that we need a change direction or a new approach. Why keep on pushing against an immoveable object if you can take a new road?  The secret is to know when to push through and when to let go, re-evaluate and take a new course.

The scariest thing in life is to take the plunge into unknown waters (or like the eaglet to take the leap into first flight). We are all inclined to seek safety in a familiar environment. There is nothing wrong with staying where you are comfortable but if you are dissatisfied, you will need to take the next step. Don't moan and complain about where you are. Take responsibility for your own life and take steps to change your circumstances.

In an earlier article I talked about what is needed to be a success. Someone I was chatting to this morning said this to me:

"Take a handful of perfect seeds...all equal...all fertile...all waiting to germinate and come to fruition.  Now toss them at random all about.  Some will fall on moist fertile ground...some will fall in poor soil...some will fall on the cement...and not get to the ground at all."

This reminded me of the biblical parable and goes to support In an earlier article where I talked about what is needed to be a success. The example used above goes to support that we are not all born with equal opportunity. Some people have incredible odds to work against but these should not be the reason not to succeed. If you have odds stacked against you, you may need to work harder but you can achieve your goals if you are determined enough.  My response to what he said was:

Unlike seeds we can move from where we are thrown. Some are given better opportunity but we all have ability.

There may be those who are tempted to use extreme examples of people born with severe disability to support their claims that some people don't have opportunity but I can share many stories of people who have risen above their limitations. It all comes down to what you think and what you believe.

The man I was chatting to made a very good point in his next sentence. He said "But sometimes it can be difficult if you have sunk your roots into that poor soil" 

Yes, it is difficult to uproot if you have been stuck in one place for a long time. It is difficult to make change and to take risks. It IS difficult but it is NOT impossible.

To uproot is hard, especially if the roots go deep and then there are weeds around us (negative influences) that might threaten to strangle us.

Life is about balance. To grow and flourish you may need feeding but you may also need pruning or cutting back. Both are essential to growth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Some of this may not be new to you. Sometimes I just write my thoughts out and they are often influenced by what I have read or have observed around me or been taught by wise people. Life has provided me with many teachers and I'm grateful to all of them. I listen and hear. Sometimes I don't agree with what I hear but what works for me I try to adopt and use. I am still growing.

©Chanti - A work in progress...
      


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Reviewed by John Mayer
Reviewed on September 25, 2005
Your writing is always insightful, Chanti. The path of least resistance always beckons but the road less travelled can offer exhilaration. I like them both but I'm still looking for "Easy Street". Like the Rolling Stones said, "I can't get no satifaction".

Reviewed by Phyllis Du'Gas (Reader)
Reviewed on May 3, 2005
Contentment is so much different than being "always happy" This was well done.

Reviewed by Barbara Terry
Reviewed on March 27, 2005
This is very good Chanti. This reminds me of my entire adolescemce that was stolen from me, because of my mother's selfishness. But, while I was in the institutions, I never let myself become complacent with my surroundings, or my circumstances, because I knew one day that I would be making my life my own. It took many, many years to accomplish that, because of society's roadblocks, and treacherous paths. But now, I am finally doing what should have been done oh those many years ago. I WILL BE THE WOMAN, I SO DEPSARATELY NEED TO BE! I now have a fiance, who loves me very much, and I have a family (for whatever that is worth). But even though my family, only wants as much money from me as they want (not need), I am now cutting the cord. My life has been one of dissastisfaction, but has turned out to be one of success, happiness and love. Thnx Chanti, for sharing this. If I didn't know better, I'd say you wrote this to me, to make me get my lazy arse moving (giggles). This is a very nice article, Chanti. May the Lord Jesus bless you, and be with you always, and at your side constantly. With much love in my heart, joy to the world, peace on earth, (((HUGS))), and a very happy Easter, cause He is risen, Barbie

"If I have to...Then I may as well be."

Reviewed by m j hollingshead
Reviewed on March 18, 2005
thought provoking article

Reviewed by Kate Clifford (Reader)
Reviewed on March 17, 2005
Very insightful wise write. Your right; it is up to us to make the changes that we need.

Reviewed by Regis Auffray
Reviewed on March 17, 2005
This hits pretty close to home. I've said it before, you should be a teacher; well actually, you are. I like the picture too. Love to you, Chanti.

Regis

Reviewed by Patrick McCormick
Reviewed on March 17, 2005
Very nice article and well written. There is an old proverb "Through the discontent of man the worlds best progress springs", unfortunately I can't remember who wrote it. When anyone asks me how I am I answer "Fantastic". Some have questioned me as to why I always say that word and I reply, "Sometimes my day has a habit of going downhill and if I start off bad I would have nowhere to go" I believe we have to take the good with the bad and learn to roll with it, but we should never be afraid to dream of what could be.

Pat

Reviewed by Carole Mathys
Reviewed on March 17, 2005
Your words ring so true, thank you for sharing...

Reviewed by Michelle Mills
Reviewed on March 17, 2005
I not only applaud this piece, but I also applaud the writer and her choice in BEARS! I bought this very bear for my husband's 50th birthday. It's made by the Vermont Teddy Bear Company and it's called "Birthday Suit Bear".

As usual Chanti, you words ring with the wisdom of one who has lived...bless you. Michelle

Reviewed by Felix Perry
Reviewed on March 17, 2005
Thank you Chanti for such warm and interesting advice, a lot to absorb in one reading so I will save and reread this again no doubt.

Felix

Reviewed by Chanti Niven
Reviewed on March 17, 2005
Just to clarify, success is not measured by the world's standards. Success is measured by your OWN.

To a person that has become a paraplegic through an accident, success may be learning to master certain simple tasks that were once taken for granted.
To a child success may be learning something new (for an adult this seems to be harder)
Success is something we all strive for in varying degrees. Apply it as you will.

Dissatisfaction is sometimes a sign of boredom and the need for new challenges. When I speak of dissatisfaction in the article I am not talking about a state of perpetual dissatisfaction (that part I made clear) but in using our temporary dissatisfaction (much like Crusty talks about) to analyse our life walk, re-evaluate our objectives and to get ready for growth.

I'd love to hear your thoughts about this. You may have a personal story to share. I'd like this thread to remain positive and for you to think about how you can uplift others with your words. Can you tell us about where you pushed through challenges and succeeded against the odds? Will you share what wisdom you have been taught or knowledge you have gained through personal experience?

I have learnt incredible things from the most surprising sources.

One thing I remember well was when I was giving a woman who worked for me a lift home. She was black and had been raised during the apartheid era (not too long ago actually). I asked her how she felt about not being able to use facilities set apart for 'whites' and what it was like to carry a pass book around and risk arrest. I thought that she would tell me how awful it had been to suffer under the apartheid regime. Her reply surprised me. She said, "I was happy because I didn't know anything else" She also shared with me that when apartheid was demolished, how insecure she felt (and many other black people along with her) because they had been indoctrinated so much, they honestly believed that their white masters took care of them. They feared their new found freedom. This does not of course hold true for all black people. Those who were dissatisfied were those who forced change.

I look forward to reading about your life lessons...]
Chanti

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