Perserverance Pays! (article) by Chanti Niven on AuthorsDen

This is something I wrote as a journal entry on the site I set up to help 'Sunshine' (Tami Ryan, another member of AD). I hope you'll read the article and click on the link and support my initiative to help a good friend. My sincerest thanks!

In every endeavour, there are lessons to be learned. I've learnt a lot from this one already and no doubt there will be more along the way.

A long time ago I learnt a vital lesson that has helped me so much through my own struggles. It is that 'fear' often results in a type of paralysis, which leads to inactivity, inactivity leads to failure and consistent failure leads to defeat. When I say 'paralysis' I think about how a buck is brought down by lion and seems to acquiesce and no longer struggles. Its abject fear brings about a form of paralysis and it gives up the fight. So often when we face seemingly insurmountable challenges, the same thing happens. Nature gave us certain defence mechanisms when facing danger. One of these is a surge of adrenalin. Adrenalin is the 'fight or flight' hormone. It floods through our body and in that instant we have ability that we would not normally have. We've all read stories about the grandmother who lifted up a car to save her grandchild. That's adrenalin in action. Your reactions are quicker, your strength is increased and you have more stamina as a result of this but if you don't do anything with it, adrenalin can cause untold damage to your body. Medical research has shown this. People who have suffered severe trauma often begin to suffer medical symptoms as a result of this phenomenon. We bypass the 'active' phase induced by the adrenalin surge and we go straight to the state of paralysis. It is obvious that if we face problems in this state, we will never overcome. The only way to conquer fear is to recognise this and to ACT.

Worry is probably one of the most self-defeating things we can do. Worry is natural when we face challenges but so often our minds replay the worst scenario over and over again and this is what prevents us from acting. I learnt that worry can work for you if you manage it. I realised that I was spending far too much time worrying and not enough acting. To deal with this, I decided to manage my worry. I know this sounds crazy but what I decided to do was to set aside an hour of my time each day (at an appointed time) to worry. I called it 'worry hour' at first but eventually I came to call it 'constructive problem solving'. Whenever I started to worry, I'd firmly tell myself that I would not worry about it until the appointed hour. This takes discipline but it works if you consistently apply it. If thoughts of new problems cropped up, I'd jot them down in my worry book and refuse to apply my mental energy to it until the appointed hour. At the appointed time, I'd sit down quietly and write down all my problems and then I'd address each one, one at a time. The first thing I'd do was to divide my problems up into two categories: #1 Problems I can act upon and #2 Problems I cannot solve. I'd take the first list and make a further list about what action was required to solve each problem. I named this list my 'action list' and I wrote down each action in order of priority. The second list, I'd read and then I would give them over to God (some do this by giving it over to the Universe or to their higher selves). I would often say aloud 'I do not have a solution for this problem and so I give it over to God and I trust that where I cannot see a solution, one exists'. It doesn't matter what one says as long as it is a positive affirmation. There IS a solution to every problem but our minds can't always see it. Action brings about a shift in our attitudes. You feel more in control and this prevents you from becoming paralysed. Action is positive and often in acting, we find solutions that we would never have found had we allowed worry free reign.

One other thing that can be done to tackle our second list (unsolvable problems) is to call all those people you trust or look up to and ask them to join you for a brainstorming session. When you face critical challenges you may isolate yourself because of shame or humiliation. I know because this is what I did and it was not the right thing to do. Gathering 'mind power' from those you have respect for is a positive action. Invite them to get together and then lay your cards on the table by listing all of the problems you don't have a solution for. Ask these people to help you come up with constructive ideas to overcome these. You'd be surprised by what can be achieved this way. Many minds are often better than one. To creatively brainstorm, it is important that people don't judge any idea. Someone can act as a scribe and record every idea that comes up, no matter how ridiculous the ideas might seem. After the brainstorming session, the group can go through the list and discard impractical ideas and then start to work on an effective action plan.

The reason I've related my own experience here is partly to help my friend but also in the hope that others will read this and be helped as well. I know that there are many many people out there struggling through the same kind of circumstances. A few of them have no idea how to tackle their problems. It is my hope that what they will read here will give them a few guidelines. It can't harm can it? Lastly, I'm writing this for my own benefit. Reminding myself about what is important. Remembering how I effectively dealt with challenges in the past. It worked for me then and it will work again. I'm open to learning new things and through this I am. I hope others do too.

~Chanti~

Reviewed by Brett Moore

Reviewed on September 29, 2006

I think you are right. Action, itself, whatever the reason, is the key. I think your description of the buck just giving up its fight was right on.

Reviewed by m j hollingshead

Reviewed on August 4, 2005

well done

Reviewed by Tami Ryan

Reviewed on July 31, 2005

As I read this, I was reminded of what you said during our chat earlier today about the consequences of stress. I have so much pain throughout my body I can hardly walk, yet I spent nearly sixteen hours in bed yesterday because I was so exhausted, so worn out and in pain. Stress can do so much damage to the body and the spirit. I often think of the expression about worry that goes something like this: "Worry is like a rocking chair... it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere."

How does one not worry when the potential outcome is so severe? I've read and reread this article several times in the past week or two, but I've run out of ideas. I guess I should rest this creative mind and begin again.

Regardless of the outcome, I can never thank you enough for everything you've done. I'm going to contact Webster and ask that there be a new entry under 'friendship' - *see Chanti. (smiles)

Love,
Tami

Reviewed by Regis Auffray

Dear Chanti,

There is so much wisdom in what you write here. You KNOW how I feel about all that you are expressing. I hope that a lot of good will come of this because your heart and soul are in the right place. I really do think that you operate from the point of view of compassion. That is the point of view of angels and if all of us were there, it would be the end of evil and chaos. Just my humble thoughts. I do want you to know that I appreciate you and all that you stand for. May you live in love and peace. Your friend.

Regis (Reg)