The deep sharing in group brought back vivid memories of my first safe environment 20 years ago in Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’ five-day intensive "Living, Dying and Transition Workshop."

We were ten nervous strangers at the beginning of our Experiential Group. Ten hours together and three days later we were best friends. We had just completed a workshop at a Conference on Group Leadership sponsored by the Atlanta Group Psychotherapy Society. Our group had once again worked its magic. Creating a safe loving space is what makes groups so powerful. We were not only encouraged to share our stories but give and receive feedback, work through unfinished business, do our anger and grief-work, discover and release fears and intimacy blocks, confront and be confronted and gain new insights about ourselves and others. We learned how honesty and truth has transformational power that results in love and compassion.

We shared our joys and sorrows about families, friends, sexuality, politics, religion, gender, spirituality, race, war and nationality. No subject was taboo.

We laughed and cried as we spoke about our lives and how we saw each other.

Our connectedness made it easy to not only love and cherish each other but also ourselves. I felt held in the hands of GOD!

I learned the most through people’s stories and when we related directly to each other. I was surprised at the intensity of my fear, anger and grief. I was even more stunned when these emotions turned into love when I spoke about them. It felt good to be with people who risked being open and vulnerable rather than playing it safe with chit-chat about the weather. Sharing with people who could ask, "What’s my part in this?" or "Whose problem is this—mine or yours?"

A group member was told she reminded us of a beautiful rose red bush. However, we had to navigate her sharp thorns to enjoy her incredible roses. She said the image resonated as her family and others had hurt her and she felt a need to protect herself. The powerful life story she then shared touched and enriched our lives.

Another group member said that I reminded her of a large sunflower that moved to absorb the warmth of the sun. The group agreed and said I give off as much warmth as I absorb. Her image of me is a gift I will cherish always.

Another group member learned that their sexual innuendoes pushed people away—the opposite of what they intended.

The deep sharing in group brought back vivid memories of my first safe environment 20 years ago in Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’ five-day intensive "Living, Dying and Transition Workshop." Elizabeth believes each of us has the capacity to love others unconditionally and it is our unfinished business or negativity that keeps us from doing so. In her workshop she created an environment where we were encouraged to express pain, hurt or rage in an atmosphere of love and acceptance so we can be done with it. Feelings were not to be talked about but felt. If sad, we cried; if angry, we were given a rubber hose and an old telephone book and were told, "Have at it!" I was skeptical about what this outpouring of negativity would accomplish. Yet it worked and I was amazed as depressed, hostile or tense people transformed themselves into radiant, light, loving people right before my eyes. I realized in this workshop that we are all connected and how our life stories are much the same.

I grieved when I heard that Elisabeth died recently. She picked me up when I was down and I am a better person because of her. Yet her spirit was with me in this group when I remembered her words, "To love means not to impose your own powers on another but offer them your help. And if they refuse it, be proud that they can do it on their own strength. To love means to live without fear and anxiety about tomorrow. To love means never to be afraid of the wind storms of life. Should you shield the canyon from the windstorms you would never see the beauty of their canyons."