13September 2011, marked the one year anniversary of the decision to accept a challenge to do everything and anything within my power, to successfully "mend" America's Hero's and my wounded Warriors. It felt as a journey to give back to those who have sacrificed, to ensure our continued freedom to experience an infinite number of opportunities in the United States of America.

Quickly I realized what a challenge this would be. My career went from one of physical exhaustion to now one of mental exhaustion. Not only did I begin to realize that I could not mend every Warrior, but I also recognized that I must protect myself from needing to be mended.

Each and every day, overwhelming stories, faces and hearts without emotion, hurt, anger, anxiety, and despair. Families destroyed while our freedom was being protected.

Quickly I began to understand the term resiliency and to recognize my lack of. I put forth all my effort, I went the extra mile and I constantly questioned, "Can this momma mend Warriors?". Could I truly make a difference in the way that they felt inside as they awakened to a new day?

Daily I smiled, my heart skipped a beat, when if just only one Warrior began to mend. If they slept three hours during the night, if they were able to take their child to the park, if they were able to remember what they ate for dinner the night before. If they could begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel...A Bright Future Ahead.

Days turned into weeks, weeks into months and I was able to recognize my purpose...small steps, a smile if only from just one Warrior! My journey was on its way but eventually I began to question if those small steps, that one smile was a sign that I could help to mend a Warrior, to make a difference in a life.

My life was already consumed with personal despair. My generous heart, my genuine concern and care for others, my journey to make a difference began to compound with the personal trials that I was facing.

I could not blog, I could not share the sadness, the triumphs, the small steps, that one genuine smile. Life became thoughts of "nothing will ever be good enough". I felt myself sacrificing my life and those who were my entire world.

Momma Mends Warriors, a rewarding feeling, a sense of success from that small step, that one smile became a sense of failure. I could not mend every Warrior and NOW my love, my personal world, my reason for being was not only breaking apart but I doubted that it could ever be mended. Could this momma mend the Blessings that God had given her? Could this momma mend her own breaking heart and soul. Loving care and compassion, the journey to mend, the ability to share my love and affection to my personal God given Blessings became a mountain and I was without energy to even begin to attempt to climb back up, one more time.

Where did my obligations start and stop? What was I to do? I was unwilling to free myself from my commitment to better the lives of these Warriors. They are moms and dads, sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles. That have full lives ahead and deserve anything and everything that I could possibly give. I had to continue to try. BUT, so did my two incredible miracles, my gift given to me from above. A responsibility given to me with the faith that I would love and protect them from hurt, sadness, and harm.

What an overwhelming responsibility I now felt. I had to find a way to balance it all. There was nothing I could "place on the back burner"! Yet, I could not sacrifice my personal Blessings. They are my world, my reason for being. They are my pride and joy. And I was entrusted with these innocent Blessings.

Today the question still lingers....Can Momma Mend Warriors? Can Momma become resilient? Can Momma do it all??? The one question that was always answered, "Can Momma love and protect her Blessings?" remained. It was a given, a natural gift from the heart. It was after all, the purpose of my creation. It was... A job I asked for, A job I embraced, A job I want for a lifetime, A job that I have always given 100 percent, A job where success was already happening....A reward that nothing could ever replace or compare. A job of loving, of caring and compassion, A job meant for this Momma, A job to protect and prevent a need to mend. The two greatest Blessings, given to me, a special gift from God.

My personal despair, the evil, attempting to break a bond, to crush my world, to take away my most important job was not acceptable. The act of trying to disrupt what God intended when he sent me the most precious gifts of all. A new journey began for strength and guidance. A journey of endless struggles, a journey to begin to mend the broken pieces of my heart and soul so that I can continue to mend my Warriors and to protect my world from ever requiring to be mended. I have truly been blessed in so many ways but had trouble "seeing the forest for the trees"!

I have the opportunity to mend a Warrior, to see that small step, that one smile. I have been given the privilege of having the greatest gift ever bestowed upon a momma, two special blessings from God above.

The mountain is getting easier to climb, the sadness transforming into happiness. I thank every Warrior for the opportunity to be trusted and to share a part of their life and just maybe make a difference...one small step, just one smile!

God never gives us more than we can handle! LIFE IS GOOD!

Amanda :)