coping with the death of loved ones, what do we miss the most?

I wonder if, should the memory of a loved one who had passed should be forever 100% clear and vivid, if dealing with losing them wouldn't be so hard to take?
I know that I will never forget those who I have lost... but, I just wish it was all more thoroughly preserved in my mind. Every conversation, hug, kiss, every late night, secure feeling... hope for a future.
That's the worst part I think, trying not to visualize the future that would have ensued. I still have to figure out exactly how to cope... I mean there's only so much one can say and do to avoid the sort of grief that's brought around by death. "It's what I miss the most, possibilities."
I guess it's one of those things that everyone has felt. The need to show those you love your strength, prove your potential just because you know that they would be ecstatic.
Knowing they'll never be able to witness your life, however unremarkable you think it is, they would have thought highly of you regardless. I think that's what people grieve about most after death...
I miss being sure of how my future would play out. When you're a id you can just dream and be content in thinking that there's a future to look forward to at all. You have the ability to hope and imagine your wants in a simpler way... Life seems to wedge itself right between you  and the understanding of how to get through it...
Can anyone say 'irony'?