My tiny neck was nearly broken beneath the sheets by my sister's legs when our mom, home early one day, had swung the bedroom door open and screamed. My sister never touched me again after that, but to say it was over would be a lie… one I would try telling myself for almost 30 years.

I needed help, but I didn't know that. We didn't discuss it, and after the initial shock and horror wore off, everyone seemed to forget about it. I did my best to follow that example and bury all the confusion, shame, and guilt. I buried it deep and nurtured it, unknowingly, for years.

This was an age when I watched cartoons before walking to school with my backpack slung over my shoulder and my lunch box banging against my knee. I was quiet… or weird, if you're seven. The "normal" kids would laugh at silly things or whine about things I didn't see as real problems. My eyes would gloss over and the noisy chaos in the cafeteria would muffle.

Surrounded by hundreds of kids, I was alone.

The acts of abuse are an obvious problem, but residual effects can be even more damaging. If you get help immediately and start working through the crimes committed against you, the chance for full recovery is far better.

If help eludes you, as it did me, or you think time alone will ease your suffering… you're wrong. Abuse victims who don't deal with the trauma will likely develop complicated psychological issues like depression, low self-esteem, fear, and guilt.

By the time my sister was done with me, she had manipulated my perception so severely, I believed I was perverted and willingly participated in her twisted games. The guilt was completely unjustified, of course, but that didn't make it any less real.

I thought I was disgusting and I honestly felt lucky nobody made me talk about the gross things I did. These poisonous feelings embedded themselves so deep in my psyche, by the time I finally uprooted them, I had a son of my own.

Almost every abuse victim will experience some degree of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Untreated, this can become chronic and weave itself in and out of your life for years. After my sister molested me, intense nightmares haunted my sleep.

My bed was a cage at night and I would wet it, as I lay there wide-awake, but paralyzed. I always hid the evidence, and my mother didn't confront me about damp sheets or stains, but I find it hard to believe she didn't know about my "accidents." Perhaps she didn't want me to feel embarrassed, but this was another missed opportunity to get me some help.

Throughout my teen years, I had the normal thoughts and desires of boys my age, but when I got attention from girls, my feelings and reactions were far from normal. Kissing triggered flashbacks and touching made me wince and flinch. I was backwards. Physical gestures that gave others pleasure or comfort made me want to cry, and I had already discovered self-harm was soothing to my strange mind.

As an adult, my nightmares and flashbacks graduated to visual and audio hallucinations. I also began experiencing intense bouts of dissociation. It feels like, whatever makes you… you, is no longer connected to your physical self. It's like an out-of-body experience, at its worst, and this is when I might be caught staring at a wall with a steady stream of drool.

It can also feel like I am in there but, somehow, too deep and I can't find my way back to the surface. In my book, I compare functioning in society like this, to driving a city bus… from the back seat.

Suffering abuse is also associated with eating disorders, anxiety disorders, and suicide. I recently overcame my 20-year battle with suicide, but I will likely have to cope with Social Anxiety Disorder and fluctuating levels of Agoraphobia for the rest of my life.

They say that time heals all wounds… that's crap! In this situation, time is not on your side and, if left to its own devices, it will form an alliance with your problems… not you.

If you're a victim of abuse or know someone who is, the time to start the healing process is immediately. I was all grown up by the time I realized my problems were never going away unless I recruited some help and dealt with them. It didn't have to be like that, and I want to share a few things I wish someone shared with me when I was seven.

One of the most important things you have to do is acknowledge it's not your fault. You also need to understand that healing is going to be a process and you're going to need to be patient with yourself.

You need a support system… a family member, friend, or teacher. You absolutely have to talk. This is crucial in expunging any false shame or guilt you feel. If there's no one you trust, don't lose hope. Most communities offer support groups and professional services that are easily accessible. You can even call…

Child Help USA National Abuse Hotline: 1-800-4-A-CHILDS, 24 hours a day, or…

National Domestic Violence/Abuse Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233, 1-800-7873224).

I strongly recommend professional help. A good therapist can help guide you through the confusion and keep you moving forward. If you don't believe that, I still urge you to consider therapy because it will give you a scheduled hour every week to apply your intellect to your emotions.

When you open up, don't suppress your feelings… feel them. Your brain can't process the things you hide from it. You can bury your feelings, so be careful. I was able to do it for years at a time. It felt like I was over it, but I never dealt with anything. My problems were no more gone than the distant tide-just waiting to come crashing back to shore with renewed vigor.

Find a way to exorcise the negative feelings by employing a positive and healthy vent. For myself, it's writing, but for you it could be music, painting, dancing, or signing up for mixed martial arts classes. Learning that you can reap positive feelings from negative experiences will empower you and improve the quality of your life.

In the end, do something to establish closure when you graduate from victim to survivor. You could write a letter to the person who abused you and let them know you'll no longer be sharing the burden of their crimes with them. You don't have to mail it… burn it. Say what you need to say and ceremoniously let it go.

Try writing a good-bye letter to your pain. Go out and get a new tattoo or piercing. Plant a tree… you get the idea. Finding a way to symbolize your victory over abuse will help you solidify the end of your journey, close that chapter of your life, and provide a reminder of your ability to overcome. You can do it… and you're not alone.