Dr. Romance offers guidelines for being better understood.
1. Seek first to understand. If you know
your partner's frame of reference, you can speak to him/her within
it.
2. Pay attention to how your words are landing. If your companion's
response looks off the mark for what you said, check out what
he/she is hearing....
3. Focus on the solution that would work for everyone, rather
than who's right or wrong. Only focus on the problem long enough
to understand, then switch to what will fix it.
4. Separate emotion from solution. If one or both of you are
upset, irrational or reactive, you aren't communicating. Take
a break and try again in a few minutes, when both of you have
calmed down.
5. Don't beat dead horses. If you've been over the same ground
several times with no forward movement, get some help. An objective
third party can work wonders.
6. Be nice. Strive to create a cooperative atmosphere, and consider
your partner’s feelings.
I met Jerome on a busy city street in Baltimore, Maryland, when he was forty-five years old. On that particular day, I was out and about, enjoying a much-needed day off from work.
I wanted to purchase a sukiyaki sub. I parked my car in an area of
Hundreds of excerpts from the archives of the Narcissistic Abuse Study List regarding Pathological Narcissism, relationships with abusive narcissists, and the Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
I met Jerome on a busy city street in Baltimore, Maryland, when he was forty-five years old. On that particular day, I was out and about, enjoying a much-needed day off from work.
I wanted to purchase a sukiyaki sub. I parked my car in an area of
