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Could A Cluttered Home Be Having A Negative Effect On Your Relationships?
by Anna Preston   
Rated "G" by the Author.
     
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Cluttered homes can make us stressed. They can also affect our relationships. Here we look at how they can have a negative effect on our relationships, and how to solve the problem.

We all know that a cluttered home can make us stressed. The saying 'a cluttered home is a cluttered mind' certainly rings true with many of us. However, it may also have an effect on your relationships in many ways, which means your cluttered home is no longer just an issue that affects you and you alone. Having to spend time looking through mounds of clutter distracts us from our lives, and forces us to use energy up that could be used elsewhere. If you have a cluttered home, it's worth considering how that might affect your relationships with those you love.

Here are just a few ways clutter can harm your relationships:

It Takes Away Energy

Having a cluttered home is draining, which means we have less energy to put into relationships with those we love. If you think about it as a trade in - putting all that clutter into self storage, selling it or giving it away to charity in exchange for a clearer mind and more energy for loved ones - it seems like a good deal doesn't it?

It's A Barrier

Clutter is not only a physical barrier, but an emotional one as well. Every single item you don't need around you, or that you don't particularly enjoy having around you, serves as an emotional barrier which stops other people getting close to us.

It Stops Us Sharing Our Space

When we have a cluttered home, we can be ashamed or embarrassed about it, which stops us inviting loved ones in. Someone popping over unexpectedly can cause such stress for those of us with cluttered homes we aren't proud of. This causes us to stop sharing our space, avoid inviting people to spend time with us at our home, and label our homes 'off limits' for various excuses, so people don't feel they can come by and say hello.

It Stops Us Relaxing

A cluttered home is stressful and a stressed mind isn't able to relax and love others as it should be able to. Our home should be a relaxing place but stress can be all consuming, and if you're surrounded by stress in the place you call home, that stress can spill into other areas of your life.

Intimacy Is An Issue

If you watch a romantic scene on TV, or in a film, or you seek a romantic setting, you can be guaranteed it doesn't involve mounds of clutter. It's all about soft lighting, clean, clear spaces and a feeling of serenity. If you think about your home with all its clutter, does it encourage intimacy with your partner?

Clutter Is A Catalyst For Arguments

Clutter in the home can cause arguments. Whether it's from not being able to find items, to blaming each other for the state of the place, to simply causing friction because it is a stressful environment. Clutter can be a real catalyst for arguments.

Clutter Can Put A Strain On Our Finances

When we have a lot of stuff, it is usually because we're spending too much money on those items, which can cause arguments.

Clutter Is A Sign We Can't Let Go

Physical items mean nothing when we pass away, and it's important to recognise that and refrain from being materialistic, appreciating what really matters in our lives. Holding on to clutter is a clear sign we struggle to let go of the past and move forward, which is an emotional issue that will inevitably seep into our relationships.

Children Are Victims Of The Clutter Fallout

Stress and tension between yourself and your partner over the clutter, the fact they can't have friends over because of the state of the house, and the fact they are learning being materialistic is normal from their surroundings mean children directly suffer as a result of the clutter.

 

These are just a few ways clutter negatively affects our relationships. Clutter is just not a good thing. If you know your house is cluttered it's time to clear your home and your mind and move forward. It doesn't have to be this way, and you can make a complete home transformation in just a weekend if you really put your mind to it.

Here are few tips to help you get started:

Storage - Initially, it can be hard to sort through masses of stuff that you know will take time to sort. For an instant declutter, why not move it all into a self storage facility for a few months. Then you don't have to be surrounded by it, and can work through it in a neutral environment where it's not doing any harm.

Strength - You will have to be brave when you sort through your clutter. You will have to be strong and avoid making up excuses for keeping everything and anything. If you don't utterly love something, or you haven't used it in the last year, get it out of your home.

The Rule Of Three - Set up three sections to sort your items into - sell, charity and trash. The items you plan to sell you should list and package away neatly, placing them in the garage or anywhere away from the home. Make sure anything that is not sold goes straight into the rubbish bag or to the charity shop so it doesn't creep back into your home. The items you plan to give to charity can go into boxes and bags today and be taken to the charity shop today - don't give yourself any chance to change your mind. With your rubbish, you again can get rid of it today. If it is a lot consider taking it to the local tip for a small charge.

Enjoying Your New Space - You have an uphill battle to climb, but once you have done it you will have an open, fresh, uncluttered space to enjoy with your loved ones. Make a special effort to invite people round and truly value the space, cleaning it often and appreciating it in its minimalist state. This will help you avoid cluttering it up again.

 

 


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Reviewed by Anna Preston
Reviewed on November 5, 2015
Thanks for the comments Ron

"taking it to the local tip" is indeed a British phrase - all local councils have "tips" where you can recycle all manner of things and tip/dump/throw away the things that cannot be recycled. Some local tips also have charity shops attached that will resell the items that cannot be recycled, if they are in good enough condition.

Reviewed by Ronald Hull
Reviewed on November 2, 2015
A great little article on clutter, one of my pet peeves. I always was very organized and carried very little with me, being able to put everything that I owned in my car and drive off until I was nearly 30.

We have become such a consumer society with "throw away" preferred over reuse for almost every item we use. The resulting excess tends to become clutter. Even when I acquired stuff, I always made sure that I had enough storage room and always kept everything neat, orderly and clean to the best of my ability.

Unfortunately, increasing disability from my spinal cord injury eventually resulted in my relying entirely on others to maintain my environment. My primary caregiver and partner over 20 years is a very hard-working multitasker with two full-time jobs and many interests. Her environment is as cluttered as her mind and it does take a toll because of the wasted time doing things and finding things that are misplaced or partially completed all over the place.

Still, in spite of my desire to keep my world neat, I have had to relax and live with the clutter knowing that I am well cared for and that is more important than my physical/psychological environment. I certainly don't want it to become dangerous and work hard to get some independence in case of fire or other calamity, but it looks like I will have to live with clutter and not let it bother me for the rest of my life.

I would change "… can make us stressed," to can be stressful. And I'm not sure what, "… taking it to the local tip [sic?]…" means. It may be a British term I'm unfamiliar with.

Ron

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