Eric MOTTRAM, the dedicated workaholic, finally breaksdown. He's not interested in anyone who does not "come on on his own and on his knees to get a piece of the pie".....

40, Guernsey Grove, London SE24 9DE
May 3, 1992

Dear Wignesan,

Just in case you hear the tale from an alien, I've not written tp you lately for a very good - or rather, wretched - reason -- I have been at King's College Hospital for a couple of weeks. Do not be alarmed, my dear friend: I'm now out and basically in good shape. Briefly, the Friday of Easter weekend marked a bit of a climax to what I had been feeling for a while since I came back from my Durham fellowship: rather to constantly tired and, as they say, not myself. Not restrictively - my reading at SubVoicive in London went very well - deliberately planned as a strong alternative vision to Estuaries [underlined] - I'm not all that pleased with well meaning people revealing their own interest by telling me how much they like the "lyrical" development in my work lately ! So the SubVoicive reading was political, socially critical and severely analytical of emotional fixes - and so on. Good responses.

But, during a few days in Wales and then with my brother in Bedford, I came home and felt down. In fact, an increasing breathlessness became a bit worrying, so some friends called the hospital and was whisked off -- tests, x-rays, and so on... the doctors decided I should stay in a while and rest while the diagnosis was made. Apparently some fluid on the cest (from where ?) caused pressure on a tupe [tube ?] going into the left ventricle of the heart causing it to swell a little. Once the fluid had been drained off, the heart settled down -- although of course wear and tear during anno domini remains ! So after that I came home, with orders to take it easy, but happily I could go to the international poetry conference in Coimbra after all -- I was mightily pleased about that........ May 3 was rather too near for any aggro [?] on that score.

But I was no longer home than I came out in a truly horrible rash -- thick and red and burning like hell from face to knees, back and front. Highly alarming in the middle of the night. Next day I was back in King's, dammit ! -- a drug reaction that only .03 per cent patients get. So I became a weird statistic ! But it was painful, believe me. No Coimbra conference either - which is very disappointing indeed. But the rash has nearly cleared and I feel pretty good in myself -- with orders to take it easy for a few more days. Let's hope that's it.

So there is the saga for you. I'm trying to get down to work as soon as I can, but still feel a bit disorientated to do much yet.


[ Up to here typed but with a great many spelling errors. Here below follows the letter in EM's own hand.]
May 6

Things are much improved, I'm glad to say -- but I wish I was taking it easy in Paris ! I bet you are glad I am not, however ! Drop me a line when you have a moment. I'll write at more length as soon as I clear the mass of mail accumulated since April 17.

Yours,

Eric

(c) T. Wignesan - Paris, 1992 -2023