The struggle continues.

Hello Everyone,

I'm starting to feel like we're possessed, or maybe it's just me. That is quite an exaggeration, but stress can make you feel that way.

We've been at wit's edge for some time, and it feels like we're being pushed off and into the darkness. That is no exaggeration.

Running through the gamut of emotions nearly daily is exhausting, and the stress makes it hard to sleep.

Not having money to keep up our filthy cigarette habit just amplifies everything to the nth degree. I swear they put mood stabilizers in them now.

And then there's our wonderful apartment building shutting off water with no notice on the door. They sent us an email, but I'm pretty sure the law requires there to be a notice posted on our door. I mean, what are you supposed to do if you have no way of checking your email?

Now we're scrambling to get ready for the exterminators. We are at a loss, because there's not enough time to prepare. They want us to bag everything and put it in the middle of the rooms. And we need to be able to get a U-haul truck to put all of our animals into while they spray.

Have you ever just wanted to curl up and die?

We really just don't know what to do, and it feels like we're just flailing and failing at everything. It really feels like the center of the spiral where everything spins tighter and faster.

We need to get out of here very, very soon.

Trying to think of a good note upon which to end this... it's just not coming to me. Oh, I managed to panhandle $20 yesterday with a sign that said, "Trying to start over". I sat for about two hours until a man finally came up and handed me a twenty while saying, "Don't give up," several times.

I get the feeling he was once where I'm at and succeeded in his rebuild.

It's really hard to keep positive when you feel like your efforts are just not enough. We have no choice but to try hard, however, the old adage is kicking our butts just as hard.

I suppose I should wrap this up. It is one spicy burrito, though. I guess it's a good thing that I have a high tolerance for spice. I just wish it translated to the spices of life. They are much harder to withstand.

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