If the one last impassioned wish of your loved one is to die at home, then I wholeheartedly recommend you do everything in your power to make it happen. If the doctor says there is nothing more they can do, then do everything you can to get your loved one home. My 96-year-old Nanna fearlessly acknowledged that despite doing their best, there was nothing more they could do for her, and said, ‘take me home where I belong’. Nan’s mantra in her last few days in hospital was, ‘I want to go home’ … forming the word ‘home’ on her lips as if it were the most sacred place in the world. Days were lost in the process of getting her home because the hospital system doesn’t seem to have an effective communication system between the physio, the OT, the palliative care nurse, the social worker, and the doctor… all butting heads at different times and none of them had any idea of what is available in the community to support dying loved ones at home: A palliative care nurse visits every day; a community nurse visits every day; personal care workers are available; 48 hours of palliative care is available to everyone; and the loving presence of family and friends surrounds the loved one.
Luckily, I have first-hand knowledge of what’s available in the community, as well as an ideal set up at home… And Nanna had just been awarded a ‘My Aged Care’ package… So precious time shouldn’t have been lost in getting Nanna out to have the superior loving care she would never have received in hospital.
But, two and a half days were wasted with my Nanna touchingly chanting, ‘I want to go home,’ and she was finally released thanks to my dear friend who fortunately works in the hospital, speaking with and then putting me in touch with the right person to discharge Nanna, as soon as I provided the services and support we’d put into place.
When Nanna finally got home and laid in her bed, she exclaimed, ‘This is heaven!’ And over the next nine days, while enveloped in the wings of her loved ones, Nanna surrendered so gracefully, beautifully, courageously and peacefully to the ultimate transition all of us must take… It was an honour to witness and share… Nanna did it perfectly and paved the ideal way all of us could take graduating into the Great
Unknown…
'70% of people want to die at home, only 14% of people achieve it.’ ~ ‘Dying well’.
You live in Australia and have palliative care. Here in the United States, hospice has become very popular of late and is covered by many insurance policies. Hospice can be carried out in the hospital or in the home, depending upon the wishes of the dying person. It generally involves intensive companionship and pain relieving medication during the last stage of life.
I have no family near within a thousand miles, and doubt if any can come to be by my bedside from their busy lives. So I would prefer hospice at home. Much preferred over being alone in intensive care.
Prolonging my father's life in the hospital and then moving him to a hospital 100 miles from where he had lived, forcing my mother to drive there, was costly and did no one any good.
Ron