Having watched the travesty of Scare-amento, aka, Sacramento and the oddities of Cali life, I query: where did all of these idiot-syncracies originate?

Without being accused of either excessive bragadoccio or being a peddler of bombast, I credit myself with enough intelligence to spot idiocy when it rears its usually silly, tiny head. Still, California continues to amaze me in this regard, to the point I have declared a new word to describe what I regularly see and hear emerging from the Dantean depths of Scare-amento: idiot-syncracies.

You see, "idiosyncracies" are charming.. They lend character and a certain aloofness to the behavior of an individual or group of individuals. "Idiot-syncracies," on the other hand, are neither aloof nor charming. They lack a certain je ne sais quoi, the air of mystery routinely accorded eccentricities, even in government.

It is astonishing that a state governor could come on television, blah blah blah absolutely nothing of substance, and win an election. Stunning. Certainly there is historical, or at least hysterical, precedence for this at the federal level; nudge nudge wink wink, know what I mean? But dammit, California is supposed to be progressive, cutting edge, a country within this country.

Sheesh, well so much for that idea. My parents bought a house in the Hollywood Hills back in 1991 or so. They sold it two days before the rains came late last year. Lucky choice because I think that house wound up in Herbie's shower below not soon after their departure. He would have preferred the garbage cans that had been routinely dumped on his property by the Santa Ana winds, I am certain.

"Why are you leaving?" I asked, upset at the prospect of no longer having a hot-tub accessible location to which I could flee in moments of abject crisis; when the complete rurality (new word) of Klamath became too much and the El Coyote Mexican restauarant beckoned like a lighthouse beacon on a foggy night in New England.

I admit, my motives were completely selfish. But the response from my ultra-conservative parents shocked and amazed: "We cannot afford to live here anymore."

There it is: the first idiot-syncracy courtesy of the tail end of the old and new regime out of Scare-amento. Not only has an unsustainable real-estate bubble been created by the far-from-surging Cali economy; but the very state that produces the freshest produce, has the happiest cows (according to the ads); lots of cheese, vegetarians and a thousand different kinds of yogurt, cannot offer basic foodstuffs at an affordable price. Milk, I kid you not, is more than six-bucks a gallon. Gasoline is also no exception, with prices in my county having been steady at $2.67 for the past two-and-a-half years since we moved here.

Snicker away everyone on the east coast, you have reason to. How horrifying to receive a phone call from my police officer friends in Newark, New Jersey the day that goofus won the gubernatorial election. "Ha, ha, you have the Terminator as governor, ha ha....ha." Ish.

I was convinced the next "big one" would hit as a sign from God something was inherently unnatural about this turn of events. An actor as governor. Wow. Then began the attacks on Indian gaming. Ugly, ugly idiot-syncracies, none with the facts to back up the allegations of bad acts resulting from the endeavors ranging from crime in the streets to corruption of minors at the hands of the evil slot machines. There was an inherent failure to mention, of course, the fact that the first gaming compacts were usurious at a minimum in favor of the State. Ah, the ugly history between Scare-amento and Cali tribes is being perpetuated even today.

Yeah, bet you didn't know that the first Cali legislature sanctioned enslavement of Cali Natives AND expressly authorized their genocide as enemies combatant. Can't go five miles along certain parts of Highway 101 up here without crossing the site of a massacre. Don't believe me? Look it up on the National Park Service web site - it's all there in living color.

Scare-amento spewed forth the idiot-syncracies that tribal gaming is bad, bad, bad, bad,bad, evil, Satanic, positively...democratic. Conveniently ignoring, of course, the phenomenal revenues the enterprises generate for the State and the employment the facilities offer for people of all ethnicities in economically-depressed, rural areas. Oops, Scare-amento also forgot to mention that these evil havens of bad acts and ill intentions are usually located well outside of urban areas.

Let's see, what other idiot-syncracies stand out here? Hmmm...I got it, education. How important is it? Need I even answer such a silly question. But the idiot-syncratic response would be: "Aw, the teachers don't really know what they're doing; so we'll get rid of them, enlarge the class sizes, and limit accessibility to textbooks. Way to go, State Wobegone. Way to go. Assure an uneducated workforce.

Yeah, so Silicon Valley didn't work out - we always have Hollywood, right? Because seriously, the only jobs around will won be as a result of winning American Idol or otherwise peddling your flesh in one way or another to make a buck...if you can even read a script. 

"And what about those wacky health care providers?" cry the idiot-syncrats. "The nerve of them," howl the idiot-syncrats, "the nerve of them trying to heal people before they are dramatically ill.Let's cut state medicare and medicaid benefits and make the only health care facilities in rural areas inaccessible to poor people. Yahoo."

You know, if some of the things I have heard come out of Scare-amento had not been meant seriously, it would be like watching a film noir sitcom. Broad pronouncements of cuts in critical areas of citizen concern; grinning governators professing that it was all a lie, that the budget cuts never really happened; slamming Native peoples as if they were the proverbial bogeymen; ruining the environment with overdevelopment.....Golden Shores of the Golden State, indeed. Yes, the Golden Shores of State Wobegone beckon to those with silly ideas and even goofier politics, making what should be an economic force to be reckoned with the laughing stock of the free world. Please excuse me while I go sit in the Giant Sequoia to be logged next week while I read the paper, pondering the latest idiot-syncracies issued by our fair Governator.