Life, death, yin, yang - it is all a matter of balance.

My mother-in-law, Barbara, passed away on August 10, and I barely had time to leap into the car and head back to South Dakota for her wake and funeral. The irony that I had just purchased my first NEW car had not been lost. There are no coincidences.

There is something so powerful about death, as there is about bringing life into the world. In a way, they are one and the same: one wherein the soul enters the body; the other where the body is left behind. And uniformly, acts of extreme kindness and stupidity happen at two events: weddings and funerals. This was no exception. But I will not speak of those minor glitches in what was a long-needed coming together of family. Pity it takes a funeral to accomplish this; lives become so scattered here and there.

Ironically, she entered the hospital on the day my book was released. Therein lies the balance. A reminder from the Creator not to get too wrapped up in self because there is always something lurking just outside one's field of vision to pop in and scream, "Surprise! Bet you never expected to see me today."

Innately, it almost physically hurts me to watch someone suffer. I want to take the pain away. This was the case with Barbara. She had suffered long, and hard. I know in my heart she had not let on regarding the extent of her suffering. And my husband suffered with her; and for her.

But again, as is always the case, someone stepped in to balance the suffering and pain: the Holy Man. I do not name him out of respect and because he...is, has been, will be...there for Mel. How I feel about him and everything he is, and has done, is way too raw and personal to write of at this moment.

But I hear his songs in my mind during the day as I sit here at my desk; I can see his face; hear his words. I look at the prayer stick from the sun dance; I picture the tree; all the dancers. And it has helped me, so I can only imagine what his presence has done for Mel; what the ceremonies have done for Mel.

Ceremony was necessary for the people who will always love Barbara and those who might not have known her. Her honoring was good. And I departed with good feeling that she is now reunited with her son, her husband, brothers, and grandmother.

I went without tears and stood strong to embrace those who would unleash a torrent of grief and emotion. I had to stay strong for Mel. But when I got home last night, I let myself cry. After all, I love her - you see, love never ends. It is everything.

I will miss Barbara. But I am happy she is no longer suffering. Through the day, I think of funny things she did or said. The negative things are irrelevant and always have been. She was not perfect, nor will I make her so. But she was loved by many, and will be missed.

And, of course, I arrived home to hear such silly things on the news...I will have ample fodder for future articles.