Find out how an expletive spewing girl experience her first encounter with unconditional forgiveness.

I am supposed to talk about Tita or Aunt Feling (I call her "Ta Piling").

Ta Piling was not my yaya (nanny or nursemaid), she was our salesgirl . I have my own yaya , in fact there were several of them who came and went.I do not have any clear recollection of who they were.

In the various change of yayas , there was one constant----Felisa,My Ta Piling who calls me endearingly as her "Barining".

My mother was there too of course , and I dearly loved my Mama also.

Every Angelus at 6:OOPM when the church bells of Roxas Cathedral tolls ---Ta Piling would urge us six children to go to our mother and kiss her hand to show respect.

Going to mass was not a practice in our family, but our sales-girls who lived with us religiously went to mass every Sunday.

Ta Piling and another sales girl Salvacion , whom we fondly call "La Basyon" would dress us up too (My younger sister & I )and bring us to mass with them.

Therefore the impious Barining was actually called to God as early as that time, I was just not aware of it!

Ta Piling and La Basyon's consistent attendance of tha mass never failed to fascinate my young mind.

What was it there really in church? It was because of this that I loved staying inside an empty church listening to the chirping of the birds on the dome shaped ceiling. Until now I feel secure with the thought that the church
----the house of God is for all.

Even after Ta Piling got married and went home to Pan-ay, she never failed to come and visit us when we come home from Iloilo for school break . She brings her own homegrown native chicken --"because they are more nutritious". She brings two sacks of young unhusked green coconuts for "kulabo" or for fruit salad.

She brings these freshly picked coconuts from Pan-ay,wait on the roadside for a jeepney to bring her up to the jeepney terminal in Roxas City. Then she would flag down a"trisikol"(tricycle) to bring her to our small store.

She would let me sit on her lap and would repeatedly tell me in dialect " Ginapangadi ko gid Neneng nga mag-maayo ang lawas ni papa mo para makapadayon pag-gasto sa inyo pag eskuwela sa Iloilo. Ginapangadi ko nga magpakabuot gid kamo tanan. Ginapangadi-an ko man ang kalag ni mama mo....."

Translated to English , these were her words :"I prayed that your Father, Neneng, will continue to have good health,so that he can continue supporting you to go to school in Iloilo. I also prayed that you will all be good, and I also prayed for the soul of your Mother..."

She was there with La Basyon --when all lined up for picture taking --with our relatives during my wedding day. THEY too , were FAMILY.

I remembered one incident which was the reason why I cried when I read the story of Fr. Jesena's Yayee in the bookstore---I was already a teenager
during that time and still sleeping when Ta Piling arrived with her young coconuts.

She playfully tickled my back that was turned away from that side of the bed where she stood.

I wanted to sleep on so I ignored the tickling sensation.

She persisted and I exploded into the "LINTI" expletive!

In one of the Philippine dialects, when one says "LINTI" (~the equivalent of "Lightning"~) in anger---it may connote that the speaker wants somebody to be struck by lightning!

Yes ! I cussed with vehemence and I was so ashamed when I realized that the object of my ire was my beloved Ta Piling !!!

I would say that I got my first dose of unconditional love and unconditional forgiveness right then and there...

Tita Piling loved me too much that a childish outburst like that was not enough to mar her "perfect', her very own Barining....

I was dumbstruck when it dawned on me that it was Ta Piling---My Ta Piling who woke very very early so that she could visit us before 8:00 in the morning from Pan-ay--- lugging along her heavy load of green young coconuts for her spoiled , ungrateful and expletive spewing Barining !!!

As I write this, I couldn't help but cry, you see she just hugged me. She did not even bother to let me finish my bumbling attempt to ask for forgiveness.

Seeing me still loving her and not mad at her was enough for her...!!!

In fact , I think she was even the first who asked forgiveness from me because she woke me up too early!!!!

Now Ta Piling is long dead.

When I think of her, I would often say a silent prayer , secured in the thought that to the end she knew this "lightning girl" loved her too!

.............
Interested to read Fr.Jesena S.J.'s YAYEE?
Just email me because Fr. Jesena has given me
his permission to share it with you .