It is common knowledge that a soldier who sees his buddy(Buddies) die/dies that his mourning includes guilt that he has survived. Not only that, but often s/he feels undeserving of any glory or benefit for which the deceased is forever unable to share.  

Unfortunately that grief does not benefit the departed. Nor does it benefit the buddy, the buddy’s family, or the community in general.  The lamenting frequently becomes angry, belligerent, hostile behavior of no use to the world.  However, if the warrior understands what and why he has these feelings and applies his knowledge to assist others, then  his helpless apathy becomes motivation for meritorious action.  The soldier rises above the sorrow and replaces it with confidence and hope. 

Sadly when compassionate people allow themselves to be bogged down with self inflicted wounds because they have more advantages than the rest of the world they become unpleasant individuals to be around.  Instead of being recognized as caring; they are thought of as grouches. Similar to the warrior they are caught up in the anguish and the desolation that disimpowers them from behaving and doing what is needed to help those in distress who are still alive. They lose hope.  Therefore they are unable to give hope nor to develop a plan of action that will bring solace and aide to the needy for which they feel so disconsolate.

 Hopefully, those of you who suffer in this manner, it is my desire that you recognize that you are mourning.  Guilt is an symptom of mourning.  Many times we do not deserve the guilt which we assume.  Recognize that it is a natural process of mourning. Once there is recognition, it is all right to put the guilt aside. Next develop a plan of action that will deter whatever wretchedness is the cause of your grief.  You may not be able to help everyone that is suffering, so decide on what and whom you are capable of assisting.  If it takes money and you do not have it; volunteer to help others in need.  If you have no time to do that, then be kind to your family. Assist a stranger in need even if is only with a kind word or a smile.  Sometimes that conduct means more than any other action that you might take.

Spread your love, through a smile.  It costs you nothing, but it benefits everyone even yourself.  When your facial muscles bend upwards the brain chemistry responds with a tiny bit of oxytocin that lifts your own soul to a better place. Keep smiling and you will feel better every day.