Abraham Maslow born 1908 and died 1979 was a psychologist  that resonates the best of therapists. His Self-Actualization theory defines what is normal  and successful. He used common sense and corroborating evidence to establish his theory of Self -Actualization.  It is the first of its kind to do that.  Maslow was determined to create a format to determine normal behaviors because he reasoned how can we decide who is not balanced if we have not a clear presentation of who is successful.

Maslow’s  definition of success did not agree with the U.S. culture. Success in life was not how much money a person made. Success instead was determined by other factors such as:

1. The ability to view life as it is and not buy into the fairy tales.  For example: so many clients tell me their marriage is not satisfying since their husband is no longer romantic towards them.  Exhaustion, stress and other life factors often takes away from that  motivation.

2. Acceptance of ones self , others and all things in the natural world such as; allowing oneself to make mistakes and correct them.  Respecting others and being aware that they also are imperfect and that is part of human nature.  When  the weather is inclement to deal with it without raging that it just interfered with an important event of theirs. 

3. To be able to be alone and enjoy ones own company shows that one has reached a higher state of being. 

4. Having a great deal of spontaneity. 

5.  Investigating the culture and determining which  goals are best for them. 

6. The ability to problem solve by viewing the facts and sorting out the emotions from the solution.

7. Being able to satisfy their own basic need of belongingness to the world and to others without shame or guilt.

8. Seeing the world as if they are born again over and over again each day.

8. Having intuitive experiences and following their own gut feelings. 

10. Automatically being sympathetic and compassionate without some else telling them that they should.

11. Selecting friendship with those who have the majority of these behaviors. 

12. Not just agreeing with democracy, but incorporating it into their daily lives.

13. A high degree of ethics.

14. Humor which  is not based on putting down others.  Instead it is more thoughtful and intrinsic to the events as they happen. 

15. Creativity in many fields.

Depending on how many of these qualities a person has, defines how successful they are.