Bono still hasn't found what he's looking for - but what is it. Ian's boss Jenny Greenteeth asked him to investigate...

Doesn't that Bono bloke get on your nerves. I'm fed up of him moaning about he still hasn't found what he's looking for. If he had ever bothered to tell us what he tell us what he is looking for maybe we could have helped. But what should we be seeking, God? A decent lyricist? A set of personality lifts?

Jenny Greenteeth, omnipresent pan dimensional being, does not like to think of anyone not being able to find closure and move on so the Boggart Blog will reveal what Bono is looking for and enable him to be reunited with it before the L8 gig.

The thing that Bono still hasn't found is …………his trousers.

Now if you think this sounds like a case of not being able to find his arse with both hands (an affliction probably caught from President Bush) let us elaborate. This is no ordinary pair of trousers but a rather special pair he wore on the U2 Joshua Tree tour in 1987.

"They were part of the band, like my Stetson hat and glasses," he told a court during the hearing of a case in which U2 are suing a wardrobe manager for return of the trousers along with several other items she took as souvenirs.

"The trousers went missing in 1987," the singer told the court, "they were having a little acoustic jam with The Edge, next time I looked they were gone."

The accused commented to a Greenteeth reporter, "its pathetic that after eighteen years someone like him is still going on about those effing trousers. Someone like him must have more trousers than reasonable person could ever need, in fact as he is so keen on Africa, I'll tell you a secret: he could donate next year's trouser budget and save an entire sodding nation. He is obsessed with effing trousers. Trousers and his height. his trousers are specially cut to disguise the fact that he wears personality lifts."

Case for the defence rests on the fact that any rock artist on tour has many identical pairs of trousers and technically they belong to the management company.

Asked to comment outside the court Bono said, " it isn't the value of the trousers, it’s the principle. There was an emotional bond between me and those trousers. What is more, I'm five feet effing nine and I'll set Bob Geldof on anyone who says different.

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