Being a parent is not always the easiest job on this earth. However, it will probably be one of the most important that many of us will undertake in our lifetime. It takes a tender yet strong heart, it takes leading by being an example instead of just speaking words, and it takes enough love to tell your child the truth, even when you know it is not what they want to hear. I believe the largest task that will concern you will be to know when you should speak up and when you should just stay quiet. As my dad always said, “Sometimes there’s no correct answer, just a choice of which of the wrong ones is best.”
Whenever you have children under the age of eighteen, you have more say so and control over their actions. It is during this age that you cannot be concerned about being the ‘The Cool Mom or Dad,’ or being their best friend. Although being their friend would be really great, let us face it – they have plenty of those around their own age. It is more important to be known for shooting straight with your child, caring enough to correct them and set them on the way of the truth. By loving them enough to tell them the truth, lead them in the truth and set examples by living the truth, you become a trusted confidant and respected example of how one should lead one’s life.
I do not promote sticking your nose into your grown child’s business or family problems. However, when they come to you for advice, you should remove all bias and give them a straightforward and truthful answer. Your advice should be requested, not offered, so that you’re not considered a meddler. Telling them what they want to hear, or giving them a biased opinion, only throws stumbling blocks in their path. Love them enough to tell them truth to the best of your knowledge so they can grow and achieve, the way you envisioned they would when they were small children. Be happy they respect your input enough to consider it a valued opinion.
Remember, whenever your children (young or old) are listening to your advice, they are also watching your behavior. Do not allow the child to miss an important part of life because you are embittered or angry at something that happened in your life. Just because something did not turn out right for you does not mean it will not for them. Tell the truth to your children by explaining to them what happened to make you bitter, with the complete truth, including your failures and mistakes. Make sure they know this does not mean it will happen to them just because it happened to you.
The actual truth can be perceived many different ways, yet I have found that most times, the guilt usually falls on the shoulders of the one NOT telling the story. Because you are a loving parent who accepts his or her responsibility with the utmost of dedication, you should be able to look within and remember the complete truth to share with them. Forget trying to make yourself seem innocent of wrongdoing by casting all the blame in a different direction. If you try, you will become a liar who has your child living off the falsehoods of a parent who puts their image before their child’s welfare.
Raising a child with truth is very important to their future lives. Not only does it help them to raise their children in the same manner, it also helps them to analyze problems completely and thoroughly before taking any action. In addition, it assists them in making conscious choices, and in seeing and accepting responsibility for their mistakes.
Although, throughout this article, I have used the word ‘truth’ almost excessively, the underlying word that should be embedded in your subconscious is ‘integrity.’ Integrity is essential to you and your child’s success in life. A millionaire is not truly successful if he is not thought to have integrity by those who surround him.
Whenever you love your children enough to present the truth at all times, you have taught them integrity. Whenever you can be truthful enough to admit your mistakes to your children, you have taught them responsibility. In the process of speaking the truth to them, even when it is not what they want to hear, you have taught them that truth is not always convenient or easy to accept, yet it is essential to life.
This lesson is about loving them enough to tell them the truth, even when it is not easy to impart. Truth can be painful, yet that would explain the term ‘growing pains’ that we incur between birth and the end of our human existence. We are just tutors in the lives of our children because life is a constant state of education for which we never receive a degree. We can only receive acknowledgements on a job well done by peers and at crossing-over time by the highest of high. Make sure your acknowledgements include loving your children enough to tell the truth no matter what age they are.
