Advise on writer's block for sex scenes.

Caveman Sex & Hot Chocolate, 04/06

Ever have a writer’s block for a particular thing? Like hot sex? Well, I have and I don’t think I’m alone. However writer’s, I believe I’ve found a cure and I’d like to share.
Picture this with me. Your lips are moist, your fingers arched at the keyboard ready to caress the words onto the page. You’ve built the setting. Your characters are panting for each other, poised to get it on hot and heavy because they can’t not do it.
It’s time. Time for steam.
A phone call interrupts you, the kids scream in the background. You grit your teeth, complaining about coitus interruptus and handle each crisis with aplomb then saunter back to the computer, ready to make whoopie! But when you hover over the keyboard again, all of a sudden the words fade, you go frigid, wordless. What happened?
Uh, huh. I bet the big “S” word—stress. Is it time to find the Dr. Ruth of the writing world?
Perhaps not. You see, I have this gut inclination. A women not interested in sex when the right situation presents itself, is a woman overloaded with other things—or stressed. However, get a man who feels the “S” word and all they want is sex. Now keep in mind, this is a rationalization of my own experiences; however in my theory I blame it on our genetic patterning. Think about our caveman ancestors. Ugh. Man, hunter, protector of tribe. War and hunting is his business. The warrior’s tension levels are high because he thinks, hey, I might get killed! Time to procreate. So he does. As often as he can. (Today we called that survival of the species.)
Woman on the other hand, doesn’t have these worries. If the guy comes home with a bounty, hey, great. It means they eat. If, on the other hand, he’s empty handed, there’s a drought or the locust are eating the farm crops, then she is stressed. Why? Because there is no food. How is she going to feed the kids? Again, for survival of the species, she’s ain’t interested in mattress gymnastics. They can’t afford another mouth to feed.
So, what does this have to do with writing? Again, a theory~
I think I’m not alone in saying that when I write, I have to be in the character’s head. I get so involved sometimes that I’m even acting it out emotionally in the confines of my gray matter. So what happens when the manuscript must have a hot sex scene and I’m stressed? (Now, take a leap of faith with me here.) I can’t write! Oh, yeah, I admit it. I go frigid. So, what to do?
The only logical step for those of us who are genetic ancestors of prehistoric females, females who developed farming and the wheel, is this—get de-stressed. No, we don’t have fields to plow or locust to kill that may cause us to freeze and kick our guys out of the bedroom, but we do have laundry, a job, soccer mom, transportation duties, and a myriad of other things we manage in our lives. What can be more stressful than that?
“Okay, we have stress in our lives,” you say, “but how does one de-stress to write s-s-sex?” Well, to the Maya, cocoa was the drink of the Gods—and for a reason. For us cacao lovers, we understand well the magical sensual properties of chocolate. To prove my point, how many times have you heard of chocolate and sex reference to each other? Whether one is better than another has been a lengthy argument which is still up for debate. So, what better strategy than to take the time to brew the water, or heat the milk if you want it the old-fashioned way, to make hot cocoa and kick back to smell the steamy richness of its warmth? The beverage is hot, it’s sexy, it has theobromine in it which is a stimulant.
It works magic.
And it makes you relax enough to enjoy and feel your writing of that sex. Now, as a proviso, if you don’t like hot chocolate, then by all means, find something else—anything else that will make you relax and put you in the mood. You know yourself better than anyone. Use whatever will count—but relax and your sex will come. After all, writers, isn’t that what we’re after? So grab your cup, pull up a chair and sip a cup on me.


Enjoy ~ Lise Fuller

Lise Fuller is an action/suspense romance writer. Her current books include "Cutting Loose" (released 2/06) and "On Danger's Edge" (released 12/05), both ebooks from Cerridwen Press. These books will be available in print later this year. To order, go to
http://www.cerridwenpress.com/AuthorsBooks.asp?AuthorCode=LFul
or her website, www.lisefuller.com