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With the stalemate in Congress over immigration reform and a crisis at the Southern border, I offer a simple solution… (Remember, before you get angry, this is satire).
I have been doing extensive research by watching House Hunters International and have come to a solution to the immigration problem of the United States. It seems we have our priorities all wrong and should allow our natural desires and fears to play out so that a resolution can come about without having to inflict draconian barriers to human liberty that we are so fond of, and especially, avoid the bloated government and expense required to maintain, especially, our Southern border and a costly deportation process.
My study reveals that Americans, United States citizens, are very disappointed with their home country, particularly, its government. Many have already traveled the entire world and joined the ex-patriot populations around the world. I am suggesting that all the disgruntled people sell their property to the growing number of landlords, cash in their savings, IRAs, and other assets, and head south of the border where they can live free from the ravages of winter, high taxes, low or no job prospects, expensive education, rush-hour traffic, and the other dismal prospects most have in "the land of the free."
Thanks to their assets acquired through their hard work, these ex-patriots can live like kings and queens in the country of their choice whether it be mountain, beach, or tropical paradise, putting their feet up with a drink in their hands while catching a few bucks on their Internet enterprises free from all the taxes, electronic snooping, and rules of the great democracy.
Once all of these eager ex-patriots have left the country, all those teeming masses south of the border can be free to stream across the many borders north to the northern city of their choice where they can find good public schools, almost free healthcare, and plenty of jobs for those that are willing to work at wages that are below the poverty level and have no hope of getting ahead. Enduring the cold weather, crime and constant hassles trying to meet government rules and regulations, taxes and loan sharks, bad landlords and high rent, a small price to pay for being able to become a citizen of the greatest country in the world.
As for all of the unaccompanied children, with so many people desiring to adopt and so many households without work, a simple government website could be used to find foster homes for those without parents or guardians, kind of like the Obamacare one, leading to adoption, citizenship, and other indoctrination into the American way (speak English only, please). In time, everything would level out like it has with our neighbor to the north, Canada, and once again, jaguar, coyote, deer and other animals could freely cross into northern climes like they did for millennia before we threw up barriers to both them and their human counterparts.
I will end with a paraphrase from the great President Reagan, "Congress, tear down that wall!"
Copyright 2014 © Ronald W Hull
7/9/14
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And here's my Native American spouse's idea: give the entire U.S. back to the Native Americans who have an old saying: "When we think of illegal immigrants, we think of white people."
Regis