Anyone who knows me, knows that I have always had the attitude that I would drop everything to help someone in need. I won't recount the many times I've helped people here, so you will have to believe that when someone calls out to me in need, and even often, if they don't call out to me, I come to their aid anyway. It's just my nature, being fearless, inquisitive and naïvely willing to help out without any concern for compensation in any way.
You may or may not know that I am quadriplegic and have been traveling alone in the major US city of Houston for 24 years in an electric wheelchair with limited use of my paralyzed hands and driving my high-tech vans. There are some things, like pumping gasoline, that I haven't been able to do for some 53 odd years… Always relying on strangers when I was alone, with little or no problems when I was walking and could show people my hands.
However, there are two areas that have caused me some distress. The first is my urine bag and the second is reaching people while in my van. I will give you two recent illustrations.
While everyone urinates, I've found that about half the population seems to have an aversion for someone else's urine. It doesn't bother me in the least, but some people just have a sanitary problem with sterile urine that comes out of someone else's body. Last Tuesday, I was at the headquarters of the Houston transit for disabled, Metrolift, for an interview to have my pass renewed. I was delayed over three hours and it was obvious that the bag I carry on my leg was full and needed emptying. I use a condom catheter and urinate quite often into a large bag hung from my knee. If the bag gets full, it backs up and can cause kidney damage if not emptied in time.
While I was surrounded by people with various disabilities, I felt quite certain that I could get someone to help me empty my bag, something I cannot do myself with my hands. There was a wonderful receptionist from the information desk who was helping me rearrange my ride back home because of the delays. When I asked her to feel my bag to see if it was full, she hesitated and looked a bit dismayed, and then took off to find someone to help me, asking all around.
I also went around the room and started asking people if anyone would help. Most people just seemed unconcerned and looked the other way or declined. Finally, the female security guard said she would help and we went to the unisex bathroom. This woman was very unconcerned and helpful. Our task completed, she returned to join the other woman at the information desk. Before I left, I gave both of them two of my books. Sometimes, it takes a great deal of effort, but somehow, I always find someone not squeamish and compassionate enough to empty my urine bag.
When I'm in my van there are numerous things that can go wrong that I can't handle, and must call out to people on the street for assistance. Unfortunately, vans like mine with blacked out windows have a bad reputation for abducting people and my cries from an open window can go unheeded by busy passersby not knowing that I am in a wheelchair and am not trying to solicit them for something bad.
Yesterday, I went to a retirement reception for my first secretary 33 years ago. It was at the law school and I originally planned to park in my old parking area and wheelchair over there, but there was a biting wind and I didn't want to deal with that so I went to the nearby parking garage. The garage required that users have a electronic card that I couldn't hold out to wave. Just entering the parking area required acquiring the card and I couldn't push the red button for assistance. Fortunately, a walking student caught my plight quickly, and when his card would not open the entry gate, pushed the red button and the gate opened, a card popped out, and he stuck it in my sport coat pocket.
I drove on into the garage and tried to find an attendant or even, a disabled van parking space. There were none, and soon I had cars behind me honking. I drove throughout the entire garage and found no suitable spaces. At one point, I passed an attendant in a golf cart moving very fast. By the time I got my window down and yelled at him, he was gone. I decided to leave the garage.
Leaving the parking area outside, I came to a turnstile that required that I return the card and pay for my time. Fortunately, there were two turnstiles. I pulled in the left one, blocking it, and ran down my passenger window so that I could call out to the cars leaving, one after the other. Five or six cars came and paid their fees and then left without responding to my calls. I was getting late for the reception and not sure if anyone would come to my aid.
Finally, one of the cars that went through the other turnstile pulled to the left and stopped. A young Muslim woman, probably a student, got out of the car and came to help me. The card that I had, had mysteriously disappeared, so she pushed the red button and the turnstile came up. I thanked her profusely and we both drove on out. Looking for a spot on the street to park, I saw one or two, but it involved possibly getting out on grass and might be muddy from the rain earlier that morning.
With the help of a faculty member who honked at me from behind as I tried to enter the faculty and staff parking lot of the law school, he opened the turnstile with his pass and I was able to find one of those crossed off "no parking" zones right at the walkway to the entrance to the law school where I could park my van without blocking any of the cars in their reserved spaces. There was no ticket when I came out.
As a retired employee, I'm supposed to have free parking in another parking garage about four blocks away. That location is simply not feasible for most of my trips to campus, although my wheelchair has a 20 mile range in good weather.
But for the compassion of friends and strangers, my last 20 years of employment would have been impossible without having a full-time attendant at great expense. A little compassion goes a long way. Everyone can use a helping hand every once in a while. Don't let your fears or prejudices get in the way of helping others.
Copyright 2016 © Ronald W. Hull
3/25/16
Thanks for the look into your life.
B.
I thank you for sharing your innermost moments and for the way you handle these moments with a gentle and ordinary disclosure. Ha! Elizabeth Towles
It's also a testimony that we are not called to be lone-rangers in life and that we need other people. A little love and consideration goes a long way!
Regis
An excellent sharing Ron,,,Mary Grace
Love ya!
Jane