"The deepest principle of human nature is the craving to be appreciated."--William James

One of the greatest gifts we can give is a sincere compliment. We all need to be appreciated. Rousseau wrote, "Every artist loves applause.  The praise of his contemporaries is the most valuable part of his recompense." In a sense, we are all artists who need to be appreciated.  We need to hear compliments from others.  But sincere praise is often a very scarce commodity. Why is this the case? Why are we so reluctant to praise other people? Are we so wrapped up in our own hunger for praise that we are unable, or unwilling, to praise others?

It takes so little time and effort to voice our appreciation to others, but its value to the receiver is immeasurable.  Mark Twain said, "I can live two months on a good compliment." The very young and the very old often have an especially strong need for compliments because they have fewer opportunities to do things that can bring them praise than some of us. Why should we ever pass up the opportunity to make a kind comment that can lift the spirits of another?

We must make sure that our compliments are sincere.  False praise is worse than no praise at all.  It is cruel and can inflict pain.  In addition, when we are the receiver of praise,

we need to be appreciative. In the words of Eleanor Hamilton, "A compliment is a gift, not to be thrown away carelessly unless you want to hurt the giver."

           
There is no shortage of critics in this world.  Many of us are all too eager to find fault with others. Some of us have difficulty finding anyone who's performance measures up to our expectations. There is nothing wrong with a little constructive criticism so long as it is intended to help a person improve. But shouldn't those of us who are so free to point out the faults of others also be willing to offer a little praise now and then when it is deserved? Criticism is a negative force, which probably is very limited in its power to bring about improved behavior.  But praise is a positive force that can be a powerful stimulus to improve.

Suppose that, for just one week, every person in the world would look for opportunities to offer sincere praise to the people around them. Suppose nobody neglected giving praise where praise was due.  How would such a week differ from all other weeks?  Wouldn't a lot more people feel appreciated?  Might they not be motivated to work even harder at whatever they do to justify the praise?  And what about the praise givers? Wouldn't they feel better about themselves for lifting the spirits of others? Wouldn't it be a better world? 

TB-30—Posted 05/15/2014