We all yearn for sunshine and brightness in our lives, and most of us have a fair amount of sunshine, whether we think so or not.  But, we all have our dark moments.  It's simply not possible to go through life without experiencing loss, disappointment, and grief. How do we cope with those bleak periods of life? There are many different answers to this question. There is no set formula or "correct" way to deal with sadness. We all find our own ways.  But there are some general guidelines that have been helpful to many people.

The above words by Charles A. Beard may be of some help.  We cannot see stars when the sun is shining, or even at dusk.  We must wait until it is quite dark before we can get a good view of the stars. If we did not know that this was the case, and were impatiently waiting to see stars for the very first time, we would become more and more discouraged about the prospects of seeing bright stars as it became darker and darker. 

Likewise, as we experience grief, the hurt often becomes harder and harder to bear, and we often reach the point where we begin to think that things will never get better.  But things usually do get better.  It is sometimes not until we are approaching what seems like almost total darkness that we begin to see a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel.  In the words of John Keats, "There is a budding morrow in midnight."

Faith in God, and confidence in our ability to cope with whatever comes along, are very important.  Some of us see others going through difficult times and make statements like, "I couldn't possibly cope with that if it happened to me." But we must cope with whatever comes.  We don't have a choice.  And we can cope.  It is very difficult and very painful, but we can make our way through the darkest of times and find light beyond. 

Keeping ourselves busy is possibly one of the greatest aids to getting through bleak periods.  Another aid is to have as much contact with people as possible. Some have found a way to combine these two by doing volunteer work to help others.  We may have a tendency to feel sorry for ourselves during such periods, and we may not see why we should help others at a time when we have been so hurt.  But the more time we spend trying to help others, the less time we have to think about our own problems.

No matter what methods we use to cope with difficult times, we will not escape the pain that is such an inevitable part of grief.  But we can endure the pain, and survive the darkness, until we finally reach the point where we can begin to see the stars.  

Copyright 2014 Allen W. Smith

NOTE: Comments are welcome and encouraged. 

TB-85--Posted  06/20/2014