"Never exchange a good conscience for the good-will of others, or to avoid their ill-will."
--Charles Simmons
We all like to please, and sometimes we are tempted to compromise our principles just to avoid conflict. But we must be careful that we don't bend too far. It is better to offend someone than to behave in a way that we will later regret. None of us has to win any popularity contests. And most of us who truly stand by our convictions will at times experience the anger of others. But making someone else angry may be a small price to pay for being able to live according to our own conscience.
This does not mean that we should be confrontational about most things. Most of the time our disagreements with others are over such minor things that it may be best to just keep our mouths shut. All of us are entitled to our opinions, and, just because the opinions of others are different from our own, doesn't necessarily mean that they are wrong and we are right. Often it is best to just agree to disagree with others.
There is an important difference between matters of principle and matters of taste. In the words of Thomas Jefferson, "In matters of principle, stand like a rock; in matters of taste, swim with the current." Differences in tastes are a natural part of life. We are all unique individuals, and we each have our own set of tastes. We should usually not question or criticize the tastes of others so long as they are indeed tastes that do no harm to others. It is in matters of principle, where actions can create pain and suffering for others, that we must stand like a rock.
We should all be concerned about justice and injustice in life. And when those around us are advocating action that we believe will lead to the suffering of others, we should stand tall and firm, even if it means that we will lose the good-will of some people. In the words of Henry Ward Beecher, "Expedients are for the hour, but principles are for the ages." We don't all have to be crusaders to make a difference. We only have to be willing to stand up and be counted when the principles we strongly believe in are being violated. We need to let our conscience guide us.
There is much virtue in being diplomatic and trying to avoid needless arguments. And there is no need to alienate those around us when our differences are nothing more than matters of taste. In such situations it is probably best to heed Jefferson's advice to "swim with the current." But, in matters of principle, shouldn't we "stand like a rock?"
Copyright 2014 Allen W. Smith
TB-98—Posted 06/28/2014
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