In the same way a woman goes through stages of her pregnancy called trimesters, relationships go through stages also. When we move too fast through the stages of relationships we risk the possibilty of having retarded relationships that will not be able to endure lifes challenges.

What would happen if a woman gave birth 3 months after she conceived? The duration of a normal pregnancy is approximately 9 months. The development of the child from embryo to fetus and finally newborn occurs within 3 trimesters. Each trimester represents a stage that the child needs to develop. If a woman gave birth shortly after she conceived the child would not be fully developed and could possibly die. The same principle applies to our relationships. When we do not take our time going through the natural stages of a relationship it is likely that the relationship will not develop properly and it could die prematurely. The 4 basic stages of relationships are stranger, casual acquaintance, intimate acquaintance and friendship.

Have you ever met someone for the first time and thought to yourself “they are a really nice person?” Although they may have created a great first impression you must not loose sight of the fact that they are a stranger and you don’t know enough about them to determine if they are a nice person or not. A snake in the grass may look like a stick until it bites you. Most of us are like chameleons in that we have the ability to take the color of our environment. We wear social mask with different personas for different situations. Therefore when we meet a stranger it is likely that you are meeting their persona not their true character.

Communication is an important tool that is used to go from the person being a stranger to a casual acquaintance. It is believed that 10% of communication is verbal the other 90% is non verbal; which includes voice tone, eye to eye contact and body language. If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck and walks like duck it’s probably a duck. In a casual acquaintance you may go beyond studying the person by looking at them and you can see if their talk matches their walk. This can be done in a very informal manner whether it be at the office, church or any other environment that gives you the opportunity to be observant.

If you dial someone’s home number and you miss a digit you will not get through. The same should be so for establishing an intimate acquaintance. If they do not connect with the right place in the home of your spirit and soul they should not get through your invisible emotional wall. The intimate acquaintance will get to know personal details about you that if revealed in public could be embarrassing. The law of magnetism in essence says that like people are attracted to one another. Any person who gets emotionally close to you should share enough in common with you that you are able to support and comfort one another in a time of need.

Have you ever thought somebody was your friend only to find that they were only a casual acquaintance? Calling somebody a friend without going through the stages of relationships is like calling a child an adult simply because their body is developed. A friend is an intimate companion that loves you unconditionally and has proven that they can be trusted. God gives us friends to be with us in the good and the bad times. We should not be so quick to call people friends but allow the relationship to develop over time just like an embryo develops from a fetus to a healthy child. Are you willing to take your time and allow God to guide you through the stages of relationships?