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How do you make a reader say, "Oh, it's just like I was there with you!"?
When people read my books, they often say, "Oh. It's just like I was there with you?" How does that happen?
Let's examine how we perceive the world around us. Sight. Sound. Touch. Hearing. Taste. You and I probably use sight most of all. A baby uses touch and taste. Everything goes straight to her mouth, right? After I get a manuscript into the computer, revise it a couple of times and throw away half, then I get down to fine tuning. I print it out (it's surprising how many errors you'll catch when it's on paper) and write those five words, the five senses, at the top of the first page. Then I go through the manuscript looking for examples of how I've used those senses. Is the main character seeing something? Put a tally mark under "sight." Does she smell something, or hear something? Tally, tally.. If I go a whole page without a sensory cue, I add some in.
When I've done the whole manuscript, I check the tallies. Usually I have more sight than anything else, but I make sure I have all the other senses scattered through the story too. You may have to work a bit to make it all flow, but the result will be that the reader is living the story with you--just like she's there, seeing those black-and-yellow striped fish that you see, hearing the cacophany of the traffic that you are hearing, tasting that fiery food that she has to eat to please her hostess. Try it. See if it helps to bring your writing to life.
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Elaine Masters
In spite of that, I do get comments like that from my short stories. One that I recently got the most comments like this on was Brain Dead. Probably because most people have thought of this happening to them and are trying to experience it as they read my story.
Ron