I've had a LOT of embarrassing things happen in my 42 years of life. One, in particular, stands out...& it happened this way...

Many years ago, I used to snow ski. Man, I LOVED it. The feeling of schussing down the side of a hill (I lived in Ohio...we didn't HAVE mountains there!) was the ultimate feeling of freedom.

When I first started skiing, I thought, NO PROBLEM! Used to watch skiing all of the time on t.v.; how hard could it be? Well, let me tell you something...there's a whole lotta difference between WATCHING & DOING. Man, I was so sore, cold & frustrated the first time I ever went skiing. I SWORE I was NEVER gonna do this again!

The next weekend, I was bored...so I tried again.

Same thing the following weekend.

Before long, I was doing okay. (At least I could stand up...sort of.) One day, I decided to take lessons so I could learn to move more; a former neighbor was my ski school instructor. I practiced on the "bunny" (beginner's) hill, & got to the point where I wasn't falling (too) much. Nothing to it!

That's when I got stupid.

Decided to go down "THE BIG HILL." Had to ride on the lift (that was an adventure in itself) to get to the top. Fall at the top of the lift ramp (sorry about your skis there, guy!). Turn myself around & look down 300...GULP...feet down...the...hill. The BIG hill. Mount Mansfield at Snow Trails Ski Resort, Mansfield, Ohio. 300 feet of sheer terror (at least it was for me). Okay, GULP, here--we--go.

Everything I'd learned--how to turn, & more importantly, how to STOP--disappeared forever from my mind.

OUTTA CONTROOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLL...straight down the hill I flew. On my feet, but not a lick of control. Yelling like a banshee.

At the bottom of Mount Mansfield is the lodge. About six to ten feet in front of the lodge is a fence. Everyone that wanted to go inside the lodge took their skis off & leaned them up against the fence. I saw the skis. Saw the fence. Thought, "I'm gonna kill myself if I hit that..." So, I laid back. That just accelerated my speed. "Oh, DANG..." I shot under the fence (still don't know how I missed the skis) & BAM!!!! Smacked right into the lodge.

The head of the Ski School skied over to me, & in his Austrian accent, said, "Karla. I t'ink ya need ta take ski lessons." I said, "Walter, I just TOOK ski lessons." He looked at me sadly & said, "Don' tell me who teach ya, I'll fire the son of a..."

I extricated myself from the side of the building, took inventory (everything's here, everything moves, nothing broken...just my pride), shook myself off, & went inside the lodge. There is my twin sister, gasping with laughter, tears just streaming down her face. She was literally rolling in the aisle. I asked her what was wrong. "You just missed the best fall I've ever seen in my life," she gasped out. "Some idiot just ran into the lodge." She really fell out when I told her that the idiot was me...

She's never let me live it down...

Then there was the time I had a crush on a guy & tried to impress him with my skiing...but that's ANOTHER story.