Have you ever meant to say one thing & something totally different comes out?

I proudly served my country in the United States Air Force, from 1 Feb 83 until 15 Apr 85. I was a medical services specialist/technician. (In laymen's terms, an orderly or medic...on really bad days, I called it "bedpan pusher!")

One time, I was working on the maternity ward. The hospital I worked at, at that time, had wards--several beds located in one room. One of the patients, the wife of an active duty service member, was having complications during her pregnancy, & was forced to be on bed rest.

I had to check vital signs on all of the patients: temperature, pulse, respirations, blood pressure, &, if the patient was pregnant, the heart rate of the baby.

This lady was lying down, reading a magazine when I approached her & told her I needed to check her vital signs. She allowed me to proceed. I took her temp, pulse, respirations, & b.p. with no problems. I then told her I needed to check her "Hetal Fart Tones."

"WHAAAAAT????????????" she said, & started laughing so hard I thought she was gonna fall off of the bed or go into labor. She could hardly look at me without busting out all over again. Hearing her laugh got me started. "What is so funny?" I asked her.

"What did you say?" she gasped out. I said, "I need to check your Fetal Heart Tones, the heart rate of the baby." "That's not what you saaaaiddd," she replied, fresh giggles erupting. "You said, 'Hetal Fart!!'" She couldn't continue, she was laughing so hard. That did it.

Needless to say, we both had a good laugh that day. From that moment on, if I was on duty, she'd start giggling when I told her I needed to check her vitals. She'd ask me if the baby was still farting...

Several weeks later, she gave birth to a bouncing baby boy.