As your children grow and begin to pull away from you there may be times of conflict. Learning to forgive and asking for forgiveness is one of the most powerful ways to soothe this conflict and strengthen your relationship with your children.

Deep in my heart lies the flow of forgiveness...
Washing away the impurities of negativity...
Seeing every being surrounded in light rather than malice...
Empathizing for the circumstances that drive each soul...

Deep in my heart lies the flow of forgiveness...
Freeing me from judgments...
For now what I judge in you
I am aware that I need to heal within myself...

The relationship between a child and a parent is one that is filled with joy, sadness, delight, disappointment but most of all love. As your children grow and begin to pull away from you there may be times of conflict. Times when you say or do something out of anger, times when your children make mistakes.

Each of us is human and in your humanness feeling can be hurt, emotions can esculate, and your relationships can become strained. The most powerful way to soothe this pain is through forgiveness. Learning to forgive and asking for forgiveness is one of the most healing acts in relationships. This exercise will help you to begin the process of forgiveness.

If you are ready take a deep breath. As you release the breath release all anger, fear, stress and judgment you may be experiencing. Do this one more time. Take another deep breath, becoming more and more relaxed. As you let go of the breath, continue to let go of any worries.

In your mind visualize a beautiful doorway. This doorway will take you inside your heart. Place both hands upon your heart and take another deep breath. Leave your hands here and now imagine you are getting very tiny, small enough to begin walking into your heart. What do you see there? Is there darkness or light? Is there fear or love? Is there pain or forgiveness?

For most of us there are all of these emotions and so many more. In your imagination find a quiet place to sit within your heart and invite your child to sit with you. As you sit together look deeply in their eyes, see them as the pure and loving being that is their true essence. See them with good in their heart. Now in your mind share with them how you are feeling. Share how much you love, honor, and respect them. Share how their behavior made you feel.

Now in your mind embrace your child and ask for forgiveness and grant forgiveness to them. How does it feel to share this forgiveness with your child. Take a moment to enjoy each other and give thanks for the opportunity to learn from them. Watch as their image gently fades away

Now take a moment and ask for guidance on what can you learn from this conflict. What is this conflict showing you about yourself. See yourself in your humaniness, see yourself learning from your mistakes, accept yourself, love yourself and forgive yourself.

Take a moment to embrace and comfort yourself and give thanks for the new awareness you have found. When you are ready begin to walk back to out of your heart and return to full size.

Now that you have forgiven in your mind and your heart, sit with your child. Calmly discuss the incident and your feelings about it. Together come up with solutions, set the boundaries you need to and forgive each other. Do this activity with every person you hold anger toward, your partner, friends, co-workers or parents. Forgiveness is the most powerful tool for creating peaceful, loving and meaningful relationships.

May the love in your heart continue to help you and your children learn from each other.

Debbie Milam is the author of The Secret to Raising a Happy, Successful Family. A syndicated parenting columnist for United Press International and therapist whose work has been featured in over 300 media outlets including The Miami Herald, Elle, Ladies Home Journal, PBS and The Hallmark Channel.

Visit her website for more products and resources to help you be a create a life of peace, joy, and success for you and your children. Sign-up for her newsletter at www.bestyoucanbe.org and receive your special report Creating Peace Within Yourself and Your Family.