As parents can they way you communicate with others change the lives of your family?

Several years ago I received a very, very angry e-mail from a gentleman who wanted to know why if I was a nonprofit foundation I needed to charge people for information that could bring harmony to others. He explained that he was in need financially and that I should not limit people from taking this course because of financial reasons. (He had misinterpreted my e-mail and had not read the part the explains my non-profit organization would give the course for free to anyone who was in need and could volunteer some time.) Although he was speaking his truth and sharing his feelings, the tone of the letter and some of the things he said were very disturbing. I was faced with a choice, a choice to react, become angry, and retaliate or the choice to resolve this matter peacefully and learn from the experience.

Well the fact that I teach peaceful conflict resolution is reason enough for me to choose a harmonious strategy. By using the strategies I teach I was able to calm this man’s anger, share my feelings, and clarify that I am also willing to help those who are in need. Although this was great, by using these peaceful strategies, I then learned that my website needed some clarification. That many people might see nonprofit organization as doing things for free. Some people might not understand that there are expensive in operating a website, producing materials, proofreaders, editors, graphic designers and personal assistances that need to be paid. Others might not understand that nonprofit simply means that I don’t earn a profit after expenses, I donate the proceeds and these materials to schools and centers helping low income families. This was a powerful lesson for me in that everyone interprets things in a different way.

As extraordinary as this was the learning continued. That night at dinner I shared this story with my husband and 2 children, who are 6 and 10 years old at the time. After sharing the story my 10 year old son said, Mom, did you e-mail him the course for free. I said that I offered but he wasn’t interested in volunteering. My son looked at me with the sweetest little face and said, Mom he already helped you. Didn’t you say that he helped you understand that everyone sees things differently. My six year old then piped in chanting send him the course, send him the course. They were absolutely right. In their innocent wisdom my children showed me that help comes to us in many different ways.

That night I e-mailed the course to my new teacher. His gratitude was overwhelming and the blessings he sent to my work and my family were more valuable than anything I could have gained financially.

This story was a great lesson for me that these tools not only work but they also help us to learn and grow. Isn’t that what life is about. Here’s something I want you to think about, how would this story have ended differently if I had gotten offended by what this gentleman said to me, if I had wrote back an anger e-mail, or if I had just ignored it.

Just taking the time to listen, to understand, to learn and to communicate clearly I not only helped another I also learned a great deal about myself and the beautiful wisdom my children have to teach me. How different would our families be if each of us learned to communicate in this way, how different would our country be if politicians learned to speak to each other in this manner, how peaceful could our world be if our leaders honored each others differences.

Take the first step and begin practicing peaceful communication techniques, then teach them to your family and your friends. The more people learning to communicate peacefully the greater chance of living a life of harmony. May you and your loved ones be blessed with peace, harmony, and joy.

Debbie Milam is the author of The Secret to Raising a Happy, Successful Family. A syndicated parenting columnist for United Press International and therapist whose work has been featured in over 300 media outlets including The Miami Herald, Elle, Ladies Home Journal, PBS and The Hallmark Channel.

Visit her website for more products and resources to help you be a create a life of peace, joy, and success for you and your children. Sign-up for her newsletter at www.bestyoucanbe.org and receive your special report Creating Peace Within Yourself and Your Family.