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Maura Clegg

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Diet Pills and Me
by Maura Clegg   
Rated "PG13" by the Author.
     
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What can happen when you are committed to losing weight the "easy way"

I would like to stand up and tell you that I am a diet-pill-aholic. Now, please don’t take this to mean that I am popping diet pills on a regular basis. I don’t, but I sure can’t stop myself from buying them when I hear the commercials.

“Over Thirty, Over Weight” is one of the slogans that catches my eyes and ears and I am then telling the television, yes I am. I find out the name of the pill and I run to the computer to find out how much I can get the pill for on Ebay. Inevitably I find another kind of pill when I am on the site and I can’t but just one, I get them both and I wait anxiously for this miracle that will help me look like a runway model to arrive.

The get delivered to the house in their plain brown wrapped envelope and I carefully leave them in an area where I will see them the next day so I can start watching the excess “melt away”. Let me tell you something my friend, it doesn’t happen. I take the pills as directed, one or two at a time with a full glass of water and sometimes all that happens is that I go into a panic attack because of the palpitations from the caffeine in the darn pills. So that bottle gets relegated to the linen closet or my desk drawer and I move on to the next one.

The next one may work slightly, but that is most likely water weight from the gallons of water I have to drink in order to take three pills three times a day. There were times at work that I spent more time drinking water and giving it back than I spent at my desk

I have yet to find one that truly works, or maybe I should stop looking for a “wonder drug” and try weight loss the old fashion way, diet and exercise, but that seems a little outdated when I just saw a commercial that promises me extreme weight loss with little effort. I better get on Ebay and “Buy it Now”


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