This article is a reply to someone who questioned me about the difficulties in love.

On reading my article, "Love shouldn't be showered on worthless people",
someone mailed me saying,
"what is Love? can you define Love? What is the difference between a friend and a lover? Can you say? I think it is only possessiveness.There are all troubles in love. If it is intercaste, one has to face much abuse, worries and tensions. He also questioned me if an SC(Scheduled Caste, which is treated as low in Indian context) boy loves a brahmin girl, if parents do not agree, what should he do, either to obey them or die? Who knows she may be more happy with the guy who belongs to her caste.
( I would have pasted the message as it is, but he has written the Telugu in English script)

I replied him to read my poem, "Friend vs Lover" in which I also said possessiveness as the main difference.
Regarding his other questions, I felt a need to write an article.My main intension in writing this is to open the eyes of cowards either male or female.

What is Love? can anyone define? If it can be defined, can we have so many interpretations of it? Love is an unexpressable feeling but everyone wishes to express. Love is an undefinable word, wanted to be defined by everyone in this world. It has many forms and manifestations.

Regarding the troubles in Love, yes, indeed there are. But what in this world is easy that is precious too? Regarding the social disparities, anyone in love thinks about them only when their love is reciprocated. Because then only they can think of marriage.It may be easy for anyone to accept the fact that they can't be bonded in marital tie with their lover, but no true lover can never
digest the reality that our beloved do not love us.

I am not going to discuss on some basic questions of how to know whether we are in love, how to proceed, how to succeed etc.,etc., My only emphasis in this article is on the giving up nature of lovers either male or female.

If both love each other, they should be determined to get married. What if there are disparities in the social arena?
Regarding the society, we need not care at all. Why should we? After all, it is a composition of all of us. If we fear it, it will frighten us, if we dare, it will be frightened. If everyone sits idle, can there be ever a change?

Regarding parents, we must consider them. They will surely oppose for what we propose. No doubt about it. We have to convince them. We should make them understand our sincerity and our truthfulness in love. Usually they fear the society and our existence(also adjustment) in other's family and their treatment.

We should accept them. Respect them. Ask them the reason of their reluctance to agree. If only the disparities are considered, we must strictly oppose. There is only one way in which we can respect the two kinds of love.- love towards parents, love towards our love.

We need not marry our lover respecting the parents' words. But at the same time, we shouldn't marry others also. No parent in this world, can see their children being suffered mentally, they never wish us to be alone.(ofcourse there may be some exceptional cases). In this way, we can test ourselves and at the same time, we can prove to the world also that how much we need each other.

If parents try to make us forcibly agree to marry other person, then we should disobey them. If they can't value our feelings, why should we?
One important thing for everyone to remember is:: Even if we separate from our parents, no one can ever kill the mutual love between the parents and the children. The Relationship will be the same when we re-unite after some years.(This is for sure).

If we marry others, if parents realise our true love for our beloved, can we resume the same intimacy or relationship with our lover? Whom we should consider? If any of their children die, parents have another children and they have each other to console. But their lover's life be devastated. Because their future will be a question mark without any hope and interest in life. No doubt that parents love is eternal, but at the same time, lovers' love is no less respectable. Parents love us because they give birth to us. But lover's love is beyond that. Without any blood relationship they devote their life for the mirth of us.

It is a mental torture to marry the person other than our lover. It is like the death in life. The person dies each and every second. Feeling happy and being happy are different.

So we shouldn't give up at all. Even when the entire world be against us, we should show them that they can't break the bond, they cannot distance true lovers. To be that much determined, one needs strong will, patience, respect on their love,confidence on their decision and they must have strong belief in god.

I think, here also men needs to show their masculinity. This doesn't mean to threaten or harass their lovers. What I mean is, they should convince their counterparts if they fear and decide to step back. Because in India, women do not have necessary freedom and many restrictions will be acting on them.

If ours is true love, we should live together. If it is inevitable, face the death together. The main aim in true love is not sacrifice but the stubbornness to spend life together against all odds.

Love may involve risk, but it worths the life.


(Read my poems, "Love-Symptoms","Love-Risk".)