The "Take back NYU" student protest group, who'd been holding "their" ground for three days in the university's third floor cafeteria, finally ended. (I didn't know "Hey, Hey, Ho, Ho" had so many verses.) Only when the university did some "taking back" did the sit-in end. They took back their power, their Internet, and their restrooms. Sure, students can live without power and restrooms but shutting off the Internet is akin to water-boarding.

"NYU is our school and we are taking it back!" said one protester. They wanted NYU to release information on its budget and endowment, including staff salaries and financial aid. Hey kids, how about a quick trip to a lawyers office for a FOIA request instead...and you won't need to live off Snickers bars for three days.

Really though, I think it's a bit far reaching for students to demand control over the university's day to day operations. It's like renting a car for a week and demanding that Avis install custom rims and paint flames on the sides. Besides, the "Take back" slogan is just another empty phrase that serves only to ramp up the emotions of those with little or no real life experience. Just mix a gallon of misguided angst with an ounce of reality...then bring to a boil.

Monkey Mayhem

When I saw the headline "Chimp tees off on woman in driveway" I thought, Dammit! some careless zoo keeper left the cage door open and started this senseless mayhem.

I was wrong. Sandra Herold started it. She started it about 12 years ago by trying to domesticate a wild chimp she named Travis. Question: Has Sandra ever heard the phrase "go ape"? Well Sandy, as you now know, to "go ape" is not a good thing at all.

Travis, a two hundred pound chimp with the upper body strength of ten men, went ape and began shredding a family friend's face in the driveway, ignoring his owner's commands to stop. Apparently "DOWN boy! DOWN boy! Sit, Shake, Stay!" does not work on wild animals acting wildly. Only a cop's bullet was able to stop the monkey's impromptu smackdown.

This tragedy was bound to happen...a supposedly domesticated wild animal one day going wild again. Just ask Roy Horn, formerly of Siegfried and Roy. He almost became a chewy snack for a 320 pound white tiger.

More Gold for Mike

Michael Phelps says he "made a mistake" after a photo surfaced showing him apparently taking an Olympic-size hit from a bong. The question now is: What was the mistake? Was his mistake smoking pot? Or was his mistake getting caught smoking pot? How about he read a statement of clarification so the rest of us can stop wondering if Mike loves pot and just hates cellphone cameras.


Phelps is not the first to use the celebrity style spin-driven mae culpa. Just about all the rich and pretty use the same vague "mistake" template when their short comings are exposed. Some can't even own up to screwing up preferring the "mistakes were made" statement as an attempt at self equivocation. So, back in the pool Mike...your PR team earns the Gold this time.