A geneal introduction to my 14 part series on Personal Growth, along with the first article: #1 Respect. Why is respecting yourself and others vital to your success in business, family, and all relationships.

There are certain core elements in our life that need attending to, to gear us up for personal growth in any avenue of life. After these elements or focal points have been attended to, the more specific or mundane tasks of growth can be worked on. Meaning, that before changing outcomes by changing responses, being able to complete past projects, heal past relationships, prepare for opportunity, ask for and get what you want, and so on you need to come from a position of stability. But where does that stability come from? If you don't understand or know about the 14 Focal Points of Personal Growth, you will be less effective or slow in your obtaining the previously mentioned growth skills.

Let me explain further. We know about the self-help field or the self-improvement or success fields and the millions of people who buy and apply various teachings. However, the majority of people don't even get to the point of asking for help, never mind buy the tapes and not only follow through but continue to apply these success principles and teaching for an extended period of time.

Point of note, Tony Robbins tells the story that only about 20% of the people who buy his tapes listen to them all the way through. Allegedly, 10 million people have listened to his tapes, meaning bought but not necessarily listened to them all the way through (like that exercycle you use for a coat rack) or been able to learn the seemingly endless amount of information supplied or been able to apply the information over a consistently lengthy period of time. Not to knock Tony Robbins or his system or the people buying his product. Please read on.

My question is why are so few people not even enquiring into how to improve their possibility of success?

The main reason 90% of the people don't even get to the point where they consider personal betterment is because they have certain abilities, skills, and understandings that are going unfulfilled. And without filling these gaps or holes, few get to the point where they are healthy enough to see or understand the need or want to seek improvement (for more on this, see my article Down With Self-Help).

I'll go into each one of these focal points in more detail in the coming weeks, but the main reason I've created this list is that it will aid you in overcoming a lot of obstacles, calm you, center you, motivate you, help you to feel good about yourself and your place in this world and, most importantly, just downright create more joy in your life than youve probably ever experienced before. Not that if you attend to these matters and learn the 14 Focal Points you'll have a perfectly uneventful and safe life experience, never experiencing pain or trails again, but you will find greater consistency in your emotional state (majority of it on the up and up), greater purpose, and, probably most importantly, greater strength in handling the trials in your life.

Nevertheless, don't get to thinking that these improvements will cause the stars to align, the kids to stop arguing, make their beds without being asked, and serve you dinner with a smile every night. Miracles do still exist, just not at this level. But you will find greater calm in your life if you apply these principles on a consistent basis. Lets begin our closer look.

* Respect

Respect is the willingness to show consideration or appreciation for someone. And of course, if we don't have respect for ourselves we can't transmit it to others. Consider the angry person is often not angry at you but with himself projecting that self-anger onto you. But what's so important about respect in regards to living a better, more joyful life?

Consider this, John Adams, the great political philosopher, said that democracy is about consideration and compromise, unfortunately, few ever do so--consider and compromise, that is. They were'nt doing it then and they are'nt doing it now. But thats a topic for another book. Nevertheless, our government, according to Adams, was founded on the principle of being open minded and meeting others at least half way. How is this helpful in your reaching toward greater joy? Lets take a closer look.

If you are always on the defensive, doing the Jerry Springer attacking-without-the-option-of- retreat, then you are not only creating a lot of stress in your life you are never going to have the reservoir of calm required to reach toward great joy--read, calm. If one is always at tip-toe stance, that creates a lot of stress. Only by creating respect for yourself and others can you live a more centered and empowering life. And giving, which comes first, begets the getting of respect. Charles Burr has some thoughts on this. Please note the small ways you can give. How does that saying go? It's the little things in life . .

"Getters generally don't get happiness; givers get it. You simply give to others a bit of yourself, a thoughtful act, a helpful idea, a word of appreciation, a lift over a rough spot, a sense of understanding, a timely suggestion. You take something out of your mind, garnished in kindness out of your heart, and put it into the other fellow's mind and heart."--Charles H. Burr

Let's get back to having an open mind or not having it. Once the mind becomes shut off to possibilities, possibilities are shut off to the mind; meaning, that if you don't examine all your options, the good, the bad, even the dead wrong, you will not have a greater understanding or greater possible solutions. And an open mind also allows one to see possibilities.

In my writing, I have even on occasion read the opposing viewpoint so that I can better commiserate with how those I disagree with feel. Why do they feel a particular way about a subject and how can I meet them middle ground to satisfy both parties as much as possible? The greatest offshoot of respect is that it enables you to come to the aid of others.

It's really about a mindset of non-judgmental openness. It's about listening to what others have to say and shutting off that constant editor. It takes time and effort but if we are aware of and can focus on respect it will aid us in our ability to be calm and centered. Instead of thinking, why did that person cut me off? Why not think, well, if I let this person upset me, it takes away valuable time as I focus on my anger towards this person without constructive consequences. It is really a matter of not getting lazy and focusing on controlling ones thoughts.  

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