by Sandy Powers

Bill and Debbie had a half acre pond in the back of their house in Blaine, Minnesota.   One year Debbie had a great idea for an Easter gift for the kids:  baby ducklings.   When the ducklings were big enough, she reasoned, they’d live in the pond and everyone would enjoy watching them.  Why not?  So, Bill and Debbie bought three baby ducklings for Easter.  Because Minnesota is known for its cold Spring weather, the baby ducklings were kept in the kids’ filled swimming pool in the basement with a heat lamp shinning on the ducklings and water.  By the time Summer arrived, the three ducklings were large enough for the pond.  All summer long, they swam and walked in the yard, eating the kernels of corn Bill, Debbie and kids scattered on the grass.  Before long, the ducklings became two hens and a drake.

Autumn came and off flew the ducks to warmer places.  The kids cried.  Bill tried to reassure them that the ducks may return in late Spring.  Sure enough with the flowers blooming in Mid-May, the ducks returned to the pond.  But this time they brought a few friends.  Ten ducks swam in the pond and ate the kernels of corn sprinkled along the grass.  Again in Autumn, the ducks flew off to warmer places only to return in Mid-May with a few more friends.  By the third year, fifty ducks were swimming and eating kernels of corn dotting the banks of the pond. 

Now, the sight of all those ducks swimming and eating made Bill hungry.  Wouldn’t a duck dinner taste just grand?  Bill decided to catch two of the drakes.  He sprinkled corn on the lawn but also filled a bucket with kernels then poured a bottle of vodka evenly over the morsels.  Marinate from the inside out.  As is so common in most species, the drakes headed straight for the vodka while the hens pecked at the non-alcoholic kernels on the grass.  With his mouth watering, Bill sat in a lawn chair and waited.  Night was fast approaching, prompting the ducks to fly off for nesting in the trees nearby.  Bill ran into the house for a sack to place the two drunken drakes in that he was sure he would find passed out on the bank.  But as luck would have it, the drakes were not passed out on the bank of the pond.  Instead, two lonely drakes were quietly sitting in the middle of the pond weaving back and forth.  Bill swore he saw a smile on their beaks. 

“I think I’ll join them,” Bill laughed as went into the house for his vodka-on-the-rocks.