rants of my rampaging emotions

Gone as quickly as grains of sand upon the wind leaving me not a path to fallow. And now more then ever, my heart carries the wretched burden of life, as day by day it causes me to become more and more afraid of what my mind is really capable of. Leaving me in such times feeling completely stripped of every emotion possible, and my thoughts as dark as the night. My life has become nothing more then what seems to be an endless cycle of sorrows, to which I am frantically trying to find an end. There is no end. Almost everything around me is a haunting reminder of my past, the past I chose to so quickly mess up. The falling leaves from the trees, are my reminder of heart aches and woe, the snow, as cold as my emotions. My mind, is now a constant battle field, one part, still grasping tightly onto the past, and the other, that strives for that hope that someday it will all be better. Though now hope is still what I am seeking for. At the same time there is this emptiness that grows with in me, slowly feeding off my sorrows. They are slowly trying to tear me apart. My glassy eyes no longer care to look upon the world, and my shattered heart cuts into me as the many times a knife has before. And this is what I’ve become. So much of everything melancholy condensed into one small, unstable mind. A mind that has no way of controlling what is going on in this life. It longs so much to be cared for and loved, but that is returned by nothing more then rejection. So now what else have I to lose? I’ve lost the one person that I’ve met in my life that could look past my mask and see who I really was and love me for it. So my mind so unnoticeably thrown away everything that seemed to have mattered once before. At this point now I can’t honestly remember what they are any more. But somehow, somewhere in the darkest corner of my mind, I know their missed greatly. I don’t know exactly where I am in my life, and I don’t know where I’ll end up. And those remnants of my forgotten happiness will be picked up along the way. And maybe I will be able to piece back together this jagged heart of mine. And maybe there is something waiting for me up ahead…