This article was inspired by an email I received from a friend after she and her daughter read last month’s article. As she and her daughter strolled through the mall her daughter asked this question “Mommy, what would you think if I brought home a brother from another mother?” My friends’ response was “Do you mean a man from another culture?” To which her daughter retorted “Mommy, just stop this, a white man?” My friend was confused by her daughter’s question but assured her that her choice would not be an issue for either of her parents. A response so many young people are eager to receive from their families and loved ones.
In keeping with this article’s theme of “getting out of the box” I will be including excerpt’s from my book Undiscovered Treasures; God’s Take On Multicultural Relationships.
“I have heard African American parents instruct their children as they leave for college not to bring a white boy or girl back home or they would be disowned. This unfortunate scenario is also played out in the families of many Caucasian, Oriental, Jewish and other cultures. What a crippling, stifling and depriving, not to mention ungodly, burden or bondage to cast upon a young person about to step into the real world.
Parents spend the whole of their children’s home life teaching and preparing them to be mature, productive, responsible and intelligent citizens as they enter into adulthood. Yet, as parents send children they love so dearly out into society; they can negate years of training them to be a positive contribution to society by giving them permission to be racist or prejudiced toward someone of a different skin color or culture.
Some parents and leaders have taught that there should be no mixing of the races. What they have done is enslaved our youth with their racist, discriminatory or prejudiced attitudes and taken away their ability to deal with another human being on the basis of his or her character. Allow me to inform you that God already took care of the ‘mixing of races’ when He created us all from the same parents, Adam and Eve. Whether we accept it nor not does not alter the fact that we are one blood and one race. The Book of Malachi says: “Have we not all one Father? Has not one God created us?” Malachi 2:10a, The Amplified Bible
It seems we want all of the right things in terms of character and personality in a potential mate; yet we advertise with most of the emphasis on the person’s color. If you meet a man or woman with all the qualities that you desire, why would his or her color have to be a determining factor? Why court someone simply and solely because he or she is your same skin color or even because he or she is more attractive than someone else? Neither is a good foundation upon which to build a lasting relationship. What can you relate to other than ethnicity and attractiveness? Remember, you are trying to establish a lifetime relationship. The Bible says God put Adam and Eve together for a lifetime. That is serious business!
You should seek someone you can relate to without regard to skin color. Please do not misunderstand me. There is nothing wrong with desiring someone of your same ethnicity. However, my point is this: if you haven’t found that gem for your life in the soil of your own cultural environment why not try “treasure hunting” in a multicultural environment that is abundantly rich with a myriad of precious gems?
Have you seen those old movies with pirates seeking a buried treasure of gold doubloons? Well, sometimes they find just that, a chest full of the ancient Spanish gold coins. The real discovery is when they encounter a treasure trove more magnificent and having far more immeasurable worth than mere doubloons. The chest is filled with pearls, black and white, of great price, vessels of gold and silver, diamonds and costly jewels of every sort. Now, that, my friend, is a treasure chest! Every item in the chest is of great worth! Any one of the items they chose to keep would be priceless. What am I trying to say? Any person, regardless of ethnicity, in the treasure chest of God’s vast kingdom is a pearl, a gem, a coin, a diamond, a ruby, or an emerald that should be viewed as a treasure of precious and infinite wealth!
Therefore, it is up to you to select the item that most appeals to your sense of value. Some people find greater beauty in a black pearl as opposed to the white, and vice versa. Others prefer diamonds to rubies and emeralds. Some individuals would choose gold or silver. Whatever your selection, wouldn’t a man or woman of tremendous character, integrity, and commitment be a more valuable find?
Again, I am not exalting any one ethnicity over another. You have missed the point if that is the conclusion you derive from this article. Proverbs 22:1 says: “A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches and loving favor rather than silver and gold.” (The Amplified Bible ExpandedEdition)
Let’s say it this way: “A character rich in integrity, quality, personality and godliness is a more infinitely desirable choice than mere physical attributes.” The Book of Jamerson Chapter 7, Verse 1.
If you view yourself as a person of good and godly character you want to be accepted based on what’s inside of you as opposed to what color house you live in. If you consider that a true statement, then I challenge you to give what you want to receive, according to Matthew 7:12: “So then, whatever you desire that others would do to and for you, even so do also to and for them.”
There are countless numbers of singles in the Body of Christ who desire and are searching for lifelong relationships. The church world and society are littered with lonely and alone people who desire to be married and thought they were confined by culture lock. Many are locked inside a notion or false truth that, for whatever reason, they cannot marry someone from a culture or ethnicity different from their own. It is one thing to box yourself in but it is totally different to be “pre-boxed” by someone else.
If ever there was a time to think or get ‘outside the box’ it is now, especially when it comes to your choice of someone to share a life of happiness, commitment, and love. Why is it so important to think and get outside the box when it comes to relationships? Because it is your life we are talking about. You, alone, have to live and be happy with your mate selection.
Oftentimes people who enter into a marriage or have a desire to find the right mate do so with the hope and desire that it will be for a lifetime. No rational person goes into a relationship thinking that it is not going to last. There are couples of all ethnicities and backgrounds who have been married ten, twenty, thirty, even fifty and sixty years and are committed to a lifelong relationship.”
Going back to the conversation between my friend and her daughter, the young lady also expressed how society tries hard to put her in a box. Although it is unclear as to what segment of society she alluded to, I will go out on a limb and suggest that the reference was to her peers.
Many singles find themselves boxed in by the views and opinions of their family, friends and those whose acceptance they value. It’s time to get out of the box!
This article is written for singles everywhere who haven’t given up on the reality of finding that someone you want to be with the rest of your life. In order to do that one must be totally free from the mental and emotional bondage that comes from being culture locked. You must be able to make your own decisions concerning with whom you will build a lifelong relationship. It is my desire that the information presented in each month’s column will help you to realize the amazing power you have to bring to life, your own dream of a loving, fulfilling and successful relationship. Come on…get out of the box. Isn’t it time?
Be blessed.
Louella Jamerson
www.myspace.com/undtreasures
Email: UnDTreasures.aol.com
