I’ve taken several months off work and have come to the realization that before I go back to work, I need to find myself a wife. My husband works ten hours a day, the same hours I worked for years. He’s a hard workingman and makes a good living for us. When he comes home from work he’s tired! He doesn’t feel like cooking and cleaning after a hard day at work.
If I had a wife I wouldn’t mind working outside the home! Honestly, I could handle a full time job and a little over time each week. It’s not working at my job that is so difficult for me; it’s all the other things that I have to do when I get home or on the weekends.
I’ve been observing my husband since I’ve been off work. I’ve come to the conclusion he really has life easy! I want what this man has. I get up with him every morning and make his lunch while he’s getting ready for work. I make a pot of coffee and turn the TV on to the weather channel. He likes to see the weather before he heads out the door. I turn on the computer for him and get it over to My Ebay, so he can check his bids before leaving for work. Before he walks out the door, I ask the routine questions about things he may have forgotten. Can’t have him spending a day at work without all the essentials. He’s tired in the mornings and isn’t quite awake enough to remember what he’s doing.
I could handle a full time job if I had someone at home to cook dinner for me every night and wash the dishes! What a nice thing it must be to come home to a home cooked dinner after a hard day at work and know all you have to do is say, “I’m ready. Where’s the food?”
Laundry is another big issue at our home. I wouldn’t complain about working outside the home if I never had to worry about doing laundry! What a blessing it would be to get up every morning and know I had clean clothes ready for the day and all I had to do was open the closet and like magic, they are always there, always in the right spot so I don’t even have to think or look.
If I had a wife to leave at home while I worked, I’d never have to come home to dust. When you share your living quarters with a cockatoo, dust does become a big issue! Thinking about the bird, if I had a wife, I could enjoy the bird more! No more fixing special meals for the bird, no more cleaning the birdcage each day for me. She’d take care of those little things for me! That daily pigsty around the birdcage would never meet my eyes! My wife would make sure to vacuum it daily just before I came home from work so it looks neat and clean. I would never be irritated again about the constant mess. She would be there to clean it up so I didn’t have to view the mess!
I honestly do hate bill paying. It’s a never-ending chore. Who has time to take care of the checkbook and finances when they have to work all day long? Not me, and most certainly not my husband! Bill paying would immediately be designated to the wife. I would bring home the money and she could take care of the bills.
Meal planning would be a thing of the past for me if I had a wife living in my house. She’d know all my favorite dishes and make sure never to cook something I didn’t like! I would no longer have to worry about things like healthy foods and healthy ways to prepare them. She would know how to keep me healthy and she’d make sure to serve foods that were not only delicious but also good for me. If the scales tipped a few pounds too heavy, I’d just tell my wife and she’d change the diet around to help me lose those extra pounds.
Errands are a royal pain for most of us. Who has time to run errands when they are working? The automobile needs fuel every week, and prescriptions have to be filled and the list goes on and on. If I had a wife, I could tell her when my medicine bottle was getting low and she would make sure I did not run out of important medication. If I did run out, I could call her to discuss it with her and remind her that she’s home all day and could look at those bottles to see if they needed refilling!
I do plan to go back to work in a few weeks. My problem is that I don’t have a wife to leave at home. I’ve thought of hiring a maid, but I don’t really want a stranger living in my home. After thinking very seriously about my situation, I realize that the only person who could possibly do all the things that would need to be done while I work, would be a wife. I’ve talked to my husband about this and he failed to see the humor in my idea!
If I had a wife I would not mind going back to work. The problem I have is that I do hate to work a fifty-hour week and do all the other things that fall on my shoulders when I am home.
My husband is a big help when I am working. We do share the house cleaning, cooking and other chores. I am a very fortunate woman because he really knows how to cook, clean and shop! But he’s like me in the sense that it’s much more difficult when we both work and have no one at home to take care of the daily chore of running a household. My husband is going to miss this full time wife when I do return to work!
ã May 2005 Sherry L Gibson, All rights reserved
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Reviewed by Chery Jones (Reader)
Reviewed on July 31, 2010
I love this poem. Great for women's image and esteem
When I worked full-time, I expressed the same sentiment. I need a wife! Interesting enough is that Proverbs 31, describes a wife who not only took care of her family, but worked outside the home (dealing in sales, real estate.) Her price is far above rubies!
Excellent write and oh so true~"I Need a Wife"
Loved this write down to every minute detail, Sherry you hit all the right spots with this down to "If I had a wife, I could tell her when my medicine bottle was getting low and she would make sure I did not run out of important medication. If I did run out, I could call her to discuss it with her and remind her that she’s home all day and could look at those bottles to see if they needed refilling!" isn't that the truth...sounds like a case for the ole fashioned "Hazel" if you remember her?
Heeeheee all the best and good luck in your quest~smile,
~Gwendolyn
ps...maybe she could visit around and help all of us women writer's so that we can just create, create, create all day. ((( SMILE )))
A most amusing and pungent reflection! This makes me recall my own wife's tender ministrations when I was recently suffering from the effects of the flu. Men somehow grow into the habit of unconsciously relying upon their SO to take care of all those 'little' (Read: Everest sized) domestic concerns that either fall below their radar or tend to be considered 'beneath their elevated station' in marital life. When the tables turn (and it's wifie who is sick, or otherwise temporarily incapacitated) this usually precipitates a minor chaotic domestic crisis in terms of household continuities, for most married men. By the way, Ms. Sawyer's comments (in response to this status quo) are particularly salient. I wouldn't disagree with some who have suggested that any man who thinks being a 'housewife' isn't a full time job should promptly be handed over to the Ubangis in Africa, who bury their captives up to their necks in sand near an ant hill and pour honey over them...
Mahalo, Kalikiano
Reviewed by Anon Nemuss (Reader)
Reviewed on February 15, 2008
A modern Judy Syfers! I remember her essay about super womanhood from an English class in college. You've brought fresh life to this theme, and yes, wives do rule! Who wouldn't want one???
This is what you do: (God forbid!) - You separate for several years. (We did -- divorced, then remarried three years later.) Then, the hubby realizes that he has to do all these things by himself! He goes into action and gets more attentive to what his needs are for survival. Now, be as it may, he will be sloppy when he is by himself,... alas. But, when he finally decides to come around again, once you've decided it's been enough time for 'the lesson' - lol - he will be far more aware of the two-some act. He will respect you!
Thank God, mine does laundry, cleans, cooks, (I do most of it.) He takes me places. I do bills. - but that's about it. Then again, I stay at home!
Good luck!
I've often thought a wife in our home would be a welcome addition, but I don't want to share the nights - only the work. LOL You know, the day-to-day stuff that needs to get done ... leaving me time for me and him.
So do I. My ex said this to me once as an insult when we were both working, "We need a wife." Well, I still need one. I don't think some men realize what a blessing it is to have someone else take care of them and the details of daily living. I went through a brief period when all I had to do was concentrate on a job and everything else was done for me. Honestly, it was a breeze. Interestingly, in my marriage, when my health deteriorated and I could not be as much of a wife as far as chores go, my husband decided he deserved "better." I guess having a wife has great benefits because he's found someone and wants to remarry. Uh, not me...the benefits get a little fuzzy from my perspective, but I'm sure in a loving relationship, they're fantastic. ;-) Great article, Sherry.
Oh this is so true and I do understand after taking an early retirement I have turned into a wife myself it feels like sometimes. I get up to drive my o/h to work, make the beds, do the dishes, look after her mother who lives with us, babysit the grandchildren when they need me, do the grocery shoppin, do the yard work, cook the supper, pick up the o/h from work....hmmmmnnn maybe I need another wife lol
Felix
Excellent write and oh so true~"I Need a Wife"
Loved this write down to every minute detail, Sherry you hit all the right spots with this down to "If I had a wife, I could tell her when my medicine bottle was getting low and she would make sure I did not run out of important medication. If I did run out, I could call her to discuss it with her and remind her that she’s home all day and could look at those bottles to see if they needed refilling!" isn't that the truth...sounds like a case for the ole fashioned "Hazel" if you remember her?
Heeeheee all the best and good luck in your quest~smile,
~Gwendolyn
ps...maybe she could visit around and help all of us women writer's so that we can just create, create, create all day. ((( SMILE )))
Mahalo, Kalikiano
Thank God, mine does laundry, cleans, cooks, (I do most of it.) He takes me places. I do bills. - but that's about it. Then again, I stay at home!
Good luck!
Stephanie
God bless you. Kathy
Suck it up, baby. Wait 'til you add KIDS to this mixture. lol
Felix