We all know that different people have different personality types, and that idiosyncratic mindsets often precipitate behavior patterns – good and bad. But how many different types are there? What are they? And how do they affect our relationships? The best way for me to answer these questions would be to personalize it for introspective rendering. Most psychologists purport that there are nine basic personality archetypes. We all have some of each it within us in varying degrees and may overlap. More often than not human nature will have us concentrate most of our energy in just one type, or even develop tendencies for an amalgamated effect. My Pastor always talks about ‘getting out of the box’, and that “you shouldn’t allow complacency to overrule your penchant to step out and into your own spiritual awareness”. Like many other people like myself, I did not initially like the idea that we all are ‘types’ that may fit behavior order and disorder. In time, I gradually realized how we all were basically living within the extent of our experiences, and prone to some very similar patterns that kept us from achieving ongoing satisfaction in love, life and liberty. Whatever it took to get me out of that box I was game! The key for me is to be able to better see my own patterns and overcome them with new found vigor. I’m now able to see the bigger picture and expand my horizons. This has increased my flexibility and resourcefulness with others. It has helped me better understand and work with differences — and move beyond personal beliefs and limits that were previously obstacles to joy and happiness in love.

These were just a few of the entities that got me thinking in the right direction. Knowledge of type helped me to see people in different contexts, and allowed contrast to have better meanings. I wanted to see expressions of their spirituality in ways that were comfortable and rewarding to me. In the end I surmised that for people who are already active spiritually, an understanding of type can direct them toward new more satisfying practices. My ability to work in depth with all kinds of different circumstances dealing with people and their personality types helped me to understand the need to be open with other peoples’ feelings. Strangely enough, I wanted to be in their position to see how the mirror would reflect how change would occur if it was someone else dispensing counsel to me! And then there are the choices we make. I’ve heard it said too many times that “the company you keep defines you”. Someone recently asked me: How better off are you, or how does it make you feel to be in a romantic relationship with someone similar to you? The latter is akin to being judged by whether what is being judged is worthy to be in your ‘league’.

I would imagine that you’ve lost many liaisons because you didn’t fit a certain mindset, character identification, or ‘type’ that you were rendered to by the person you admired. Human nature would have it where before any choices are made to belong compatibility would serve much more than mere happenstance. This kind of typecasting is the bane of those trying to forge some semblance of logic to pick and choose without rancor or hardship. Then too, quantifiable value on the open market where the virtues of viable relationships are concerned often is the difference between success and failure. The best scenario in my opinion in all things relative to love, intimacy, and platonic friendship would be how well we use the sense of discernment. With this in mind, decisions rendered for any reasonable resolve in justifying whom is to be with whom owes a lot to social strata, how one carries themselves, including charismatic fortitude and substance.

This creates a pecking order in a social sense that determines all of the above. It’s common knowledge that people tend to be most comfortable, if not complacent with where somebody stands in his or hers Diaspora as opposed to looking beyond the surface. The gist of this essay evolves around how types can be most beneficial without the adherence categorical biases, and demystifying the reliance on status quo in choose someone that are common to your interests. The key here will be to prove too, that opposites CAN attract! The dating realm is not an exact science where idealism is etched in stone with no room for error. We are opportunistic and know where people place in society. Caste systems do not reign supreme in American society, but institutionalized persuasions still hold sway in certain bastions of interpretation. It surely can make a difference if nothing is done to change minds and allow them to see you differently. I remember telling my children the importance of what I can ‘pro rata reasoning’. Pro rata reasoning is an entity I attribute to that consists of one making sound choices based on rational interpretation that can be derived from using options that are discernable, deductive reasoning, logic, and plain ole common sense! These things are apropos to diminishing the wherewithal to fail…where moxie and rationale garnered within the individual often are the tools that give them the best advantage.

My whole premise was for them to understand leagues and types, and how they are essential to making the right choices in relationships. I didn’t want them always relying on the outward appearance without going deeper for a better sense of awareness. I wanted them to know that brains, career success, and personality also designate league standing. Now that God has allowed me the wherewithal to understand that being in position to accept His blessings, I know that through personality preferences you can more readily appreciate differences between you and people closest to you in your life. In most areas of life, when differences between yourself and another person bother you too much, you can avoid the other person in some way until you find a Christ-like way of dealing with them. Not walking away would tell more of how you understand the type you may be dealing with. That has been my mantra. In closing, relationship types that have shaped my world all came from the belief that it is always important that personality types are not the answer to everything, just one more tool that helped me grow, achieve, and prosper in my life.