Yes, I was once there. As a child growing up in the late 50’s and early 60’s in the historic Overtown section of Miami when and where the village did more to raise me, distinguished gentlemen ran quite a few households, but not mine. Albeit, there were countless other men who cared. They were Alpha males and elders. I was expected to listen, obey and be respectful to them. In addition, I had plenty of other men that I looked up to as models for roles that men played in shaping young minds. As I write this article I lament and observe with dismay seeing the young folk in this generation miss out on what it means to look up to anything worthy of respect and honor. Of course, there are some who do not fit this description, but more often than not I see more than a token few who are not adhering. They need to stand up and be accountable to authoritative measures to lead. I’m tired of the sagging pants idea, the ‘gangsta’ mentality, and misappropriated swagger that fuels minds of young boys, teens and young adults who should know better. I have a solution worth trying. First of all, what you are currently reading is the first of a two-part essay, entitled ‘Men, Mentoring and Me: New Options Transitioning Boys to Men.' The purpose of these essays are to shed light on my opinion of what men should do to mentor, and how boys should go about being recipients of tutelage that can mold them as upstanding young men and leaders of tomorrow. What I’m observing is not indicative of the idea I have of what young folk should do for respect and honor, inasmuch as it is to foster a sense of pride in a reverent way for obedience.

     It’s no coincidence that I alluded to my past because where I am now in my walk is miles removed from where I was when my father left my mother to raise seven children, or when I failed being responsive. I think about my own derelict ways in not being the best father I could to my kids when they were much younger. Mentoring means a lot to me...I take it seriously enough to raise my hand and be vociferous in my manner when mothers, sisters and wives feel that something has to give, and need (my) help. Raising children in this generation is fraught with bastions of low self-esteem, dysfunctional families, and disenfranchised communities. Our young children most importantly are being misled and are embracing the wrong stimuli to propel them to greater expectations. The concept of the village raising a child is moribund and fleeting when you stop and think of all the vices that are gripping our children today. Sex and immorality abound, including misappropriating values and options such as homosexuality and gender issues. I’ve always felt that there needs to be more to help those in need in building character and being the respecter of all things good and gracious. Mentoring, in my opinion, is the cornerstone of helping to change who, how and when we should look up to something and someone. In the Bible there are several examples of men and mentoring: Paul mentored Timothy and Titus like sons in the faith, and they looked to Paul like a father. Elisha learned at the feet of Elijah and went on to be a greater prophet of God. Jonathan was the rightful heir to Israel’s throne but he forsook that to mentor and befriend young David. Neither Moses, following Jethro’s advice, nor the apostles ignoring the legitimate needs of the people, nor allowing themselves to be distracted from the primary needs of the people and the priorities of the Word caused father figures to mentor those that needed it most. Paradoxically, Eli failed to chastise his sons and it cost him favor with God, and ultimately destroyed his family lineage. This could be the fate of many of us if we don’t adhere to His Commandments, lead by example, and raise our children respectfully.

     We need men in the homes to stabilize familial order and allow children to look to their parents as their first mentors. God gave man the role of being dominion over his family for a purpose. Households wasn’t meant to be matriarchal as opposed to a patriarch being in place as ordained by God. He decreed that man should be dominion over his family. Also, and using another piece to ponder, I’ve always felt that the church is the last frontier of hope for our youth and should be doing more to train them for the leadership roles that would propel and extrapolate them to fulfill their destinies. I do not discount social dynamics relative to community activism that challenge change to cultivate our children, but there needs to be incorporated in that tutelage spiritual values for better parallels. A church without a blueprint to focus on challenging children to be the best that they can be with sustained tutorials and bonding sessions will not be effective to train up a child in a special way. Transitioning boys to men should be the norm rather than wishful thinking when we opt to lend support rather than surrogates in absentia of biological parentage, or as responsible dads willing and able to do what should be done anyway. To do otherwise would be ineffective, lacking, and a derelict of duty. What then, should men be doing better and be effective as mentors? They should be right there to be the helpmate that wives need to nurture; they should shadow their children to build bonds that meld love and respect as one common bond; and most importantly, they should train up their children using Biblical references and a sense of spiritual worth. On the other side of the coin is how children generally, and boys specifically should go about choosing a mentor if the family structure isn’t as sound as it should be. I like the idea too, of it being someone with morals and upstanding mannerisms, with a strong community presence, and certainly someone who knows what the inside of a church looks like. The willingness to be taught where discipline is not spared should be qualities that all mentees should adhere to.

     I take mentoring seriously and pride myself on making it a positive experience when I can help give the younger generation a better starting place for whatever they are going to pursue. Being a mentor means men should be about looking inside and outside of your Diaspora and thinking creatively in finding someone who needs direction. You can do this by helping a young boy to pull up his pants, or by coercing a young lady to keep her panties up, and to give both a helping hand to make the best decisions for career development. It means leading by example and exemplifying a model to be emulated and a wherewithal to be respected. I’m doing my part, what about you?