An in-depth analogy on one person's opinionated views on how to choose the merits of true friendship.
Relative to what the question and meaning of this essay implies, is it warranted to ask the question, thereof? Should one be wary of who is in the company in areas of influence; and better yet, how do we measure who should be selected and inclusive of relevance? I ask these questions simply because you can’t invite everyone in your circle. It has always been my contention that certain options should be cognizant relative to discerning options, including deductive reasoning, logic and common sense. More often than not the decisions we make concerning whom to trust gets us in trouble because there may not be enough time to ascertain quality internet tin people we embrace. Time and timing are always barometers measuring warranty and worth. As I’ve written in another analogy, people come into your life for reasons, seasons and lifetimes. Each has parameters of justification depending on the person you entrust. Conventional wisdom is such that definitive realization shouldn’t be ignored. Know that true friends are those you can rely on regardless of circumstances. They invariably will give advice no matter what so that you would be contemplative of thinking first before leaping. They will never lead you astray purposely down the wrong road. They are all about truth and consequences. Are their people in your life that know you better than yourself, taking positions in your best interest in crisis or otherwise? Think on this. Those people should possess combinations of love, loyalty, respect, understanding and trust in long lasting devotion. They accept you for who you are, and are willing to be in your corner during good and bad times. How many people depicted above are privy relative to true friendship? I’ve listed in the next paragraph a few homilies that also shouldn’t be ignored.
- Are friends those who know all about you and still love you regardless of circumstances? I contend that true friendship cannot blossom in the presence of flawed judgment. The gist of this has a lot yo do with not being reluctant telling a person (you call a friend) anything about your past, while you contemplate whether they belong in your life, accordingly.
- Another writer once said, “It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.” Is there any reasonable truth to this? As we implore further about the genuine effectiveness of what friendship is all about truthfully, there’s nothing that should be debated that is built on a foundation of lies. Concealing the truth convincing people to like you, or be agreeable to your idiosyncratic verve reflects a lack self-confidence in who you really are.There’s no validity caring about people who don’t care anything about you, save for appeasing their own goals.
- F. Scott Fitzgerald, the renown writer once said, “There are all types of love in this world, but never the same love twice.”What a profound statement! If any assessment of a true friendship is real it’s not a special one if it is a mirror image of another. Each vestige of being a friend hinges on foundation on its own merits. In other words, you cannot expect someone new to replace old friends. I say it's foolhardy ending in embarrassment and disappointment.
- One of the quotes that touches me most is the one uttered by Writer, James Baldwin: “Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.” This line is truly for the masses but it touched me to the core. Why? Simply because when gauging whether a friendship is tried and true it should have transparency with good intent without compromising anything that would be detrimental. It’s about standing up telling the truth to your friend without fear of retribution, and without being scolded. Masks, real or imagined, should not be part of any equation mitigating adding, subtracting, multiplying or dividing the worth of whom you entrust to be friendship worthy.
Of course there are two sides of a coin. A bad friend is the opposite of a good friend.Character traits differ, where backstabbing and telling your secrets are notorious and par for the course. Beware! Friendship takes on many forms for different reasons, some are positive some are negative, and others are ambiguous if not recognized before it’s too late. I can remember when I had issues not being in a better position to guard against deception and good intent gone awry. I found out too late that each type of friend when not being on my best introspective tip didn’t’ bode well for me. What was a stark realization was the fact that each type of friendship in my mind shaped me in different ways…and that was a no-no. Within those different types some were able to serve more superficial purposes, while others provided deeper value. I wasn’t able to discern, recognize or deduct any reasonable doubt dismissing the bad apples in lieu of acceptance, trust, and support. Acceptance depends on how much you tolerate. What do I mean by this? Rules of engagement and boundaries generally are part of one being agreeable to tolerances much so that they should not be crossed to damage the relationship. We should always accept our friends' flaws. But it’s important distinguishing which of those flaws would be a detriment in overcoming them. Trust by nature is a hard nut to crack when you’re unable to see things without going deeper as opposed to what’s on the surface. What worked for me was opening tips and building connections for ties that bind with good fabric! That type of friend where if I happen to fall and the other is there to catch me before I hit the ground. It can be a vulnerable situation possessing a leadoff faith as you share your secrets and confide deeply, trusting where it won’t hurt you or the relationship. It takes time to build, and mere seconds to destroy it. The connection must be genuine. Support can be the true litmus test in the third tier of this paragraph. Once true friendship is established it becomes harder to back out when the going gets tough. Or does it? Having pillars to lean on makes all the difference in the world. True friends are always there when you need them indeed. This is where being genuine having each others’ backs are essential—giving advice without judging, providing words of encouragement, or just listening. It’s during times of trials and tribulation that we discover who our true friends are. Make sure when you choose whom will be your circle partners that they are developed with time and experience.
I can go on and on ad nauseam on the subject of how to choose your friends and holding them accountable to my standards. And because they are not automatic human nature will be true to form in misjudging and making mistakes. If I may close this session, you will undoubtedly find other plausible reasons to deem your choices in friendship true or false.You will have a multitude of occurrences where you are in position to know what is, or was bad for you. You will learn how and why judgment should be more than just intuition and just surface matter. Last but not least of all, your timetable will be measured by how experience will be your master teacher in knowing what to look for discerning true friendship. If all else fails you can always elicit yourelf as a best friend. Be blessed in your persuasions and choices!
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