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An article about a major issue in our society..about gender bias, about our mentality..
When I started to do this research on my topic, I was searching for ideas and points to put in this project…how to make it more attractive. I was reading books, surfing world wide web for similar topics…articles etc. It’s not that I don’t have my opinion about the subject but that would be so limited and probably not so appealing, isn’t it? In the midst of my struggle to make it creative and more interesting using excerpts from different places, somehow I suddenly realized that this “Gender Issues” has been from bygone eras one of the major social issues not only in India but all over the world. And many people are actually well aware of it. Then I decided to pursue a realistic way…I mean interviewing real people rather than just stealing or borrowing pieces from already existing materials.
So basically my research is a collection of my thoughts, some already existing pieces and the statements of some other people including my friends.
As mentioned in "Looking for a better world" by Stuart J. Malkin, "Gender bias is as hurtful and destructive as any other bias."
Pondering about this topic I couldn't resist but recollect a research by Amanda Chapman of D' Youville College on "Gender Bias in Education". I remember when I was in school. "Sitting in the same classroom, reading the same textbook, listening to the same teacher, boys and girls receive very different educations". (Sadker, 1994)
In fact, upon entering school, girls perform equal to or better than boys on nearly every measure of achievement, but by the time they graduate high school or college, they have fallen behind.
Across the country, majority is the boys falling into trouble. They earn 70% of the D's and F's that teachers dole out. Ending up into juvenile court for some or other reason.
I mean seriously, how often do we hear about a girl being convicted for drug violation, or some murder or as small as stealing?!
In British Columbia, standardized testing indicates that girls outperform boys at all levels of reading and writing and in Alberta testing shows that girls, "significantly outperform boys on reading and writing tests, while almost matching them in math and science."
The socialization of gender within our schools assures that girls are made aware that they are unequal to boys. Every time students are seated or lined up by gender, teachers are affirming that girls and boys should be treated differently. When an administrator ignores an act of sexual harassment, he or she is allowing the degradation of girls. When different behaviors are tolerated for boys than for girls because 'boys will be boys', schools are perpetuating the oppression of females.
When I was in high school, there was this teacher who I don't have any idea why hated to see a girl and a boy talking with each other except about studies. I mean, what the hell is wrong with that? And she won't say anything to the boy but scolds the girl included!
Teachers socialize girls towards a feminine ideal. Girls are praised for being neat, quiet, and calm. whereas boys are encouraged to think independently, be active and speak up.
In our daily life, boys are taunted for throwing like a girl, or crying like a girl, which implies that being a girl is worse than being a boy. Assertive behavior from girls is often seen as disruptive by adults.
(Bailey, 1992) "The clear message to both boys and girls is that girls are not worthy of respect and that appropriate behaviour for boys includes exerting power over girls - or over other, weaker boys."
In our Indian society, people look at a widow with an eye of disrespect. Why can't they treat her as a normal woman...For goodness sake her husband his dead what's her fault in that?!!
From childhood it's been made clear to a girl what are the things she should do and most importantly what she shouldn't! For boys, it's a complete freedom...like "go explore the world, it's all yours."
Right from the time when a girl is born her mother decides her future....a pure feminine one. 'How many mothers dream her daughter to be a soccer player or a boxing champion' ? But why can't they is the one question I wanna ask them. The most important thing to succeed in life is attitude. What can a girl do if her attitude has been molded in such a way that she couldn't even imagine of doing all those things which boys do? From the time she starts to learn, she have been taught that she will always hold a lower position that a boy and that a girl is dependent on a boy or her family.
This gender bias between a boy and a girl further leads to abusive behaviour towards girls. If a couple is married, the husband thinks that his wife is just a slave to him and he can make her do anything to which his wife is not supposed to resist because she is a woman and holds lower position. Is this some kind of ammendment of some constitution?! Maybe not for me but those girls…they are being taught from childhood that they hold less priority than boys. That they should lie low…always.
And the man as they call themselves…take pleasure in showing power over them. Treating them as filths. Well actually I don’t blame them completely, it’s what they have been taught from childhood. They are brought up in such mentality.
I understand, that girls and boys hold a specific place in this world. "Girls become a mother, boys are the ones who make them a mother!"
But that doesn't mean we should treat girls with inequality.
A man and a woman are like, the wheels of a cart, balancing it as it moves on. None should be weaker or stronger than the other or else the cart will collapse.
Think about it, try to understand...
And here's another major deal with genders which we face in our daily lives. "Homosexuals, Bisexuals, Transgenders..."
People look at them with disgust. They are no different than us. I feel a surge of anger inside me when people talk filth about them. Why treating them as different eh? They are humans, people love their f**king pets more than them!
In India we see some transgenders roaming around on city roads or trains asking for money, talking rudely and misbehaving. That's why you hate them right? Have you ever tried to give a thought why they do all this? We make them do this. Our limited mentality makes them do this. We treat them as outcasts, weird, freaks...people don't accept them in public...what option they are left with?
I tell you what, I have some homosexual friends. And there's this girl I love who is a bisexual. And you know what, they are better than most of the so called "normal" people that I know. I love them because of their nature. For me, they are as normal as any other human.
I asked one of my close friends, “Michael Riley” about how he feels about all this gender issue thing and he said:
"Well I remember school the same way the girls always out-performed the boys in most if not all subjects. And yes i believe that men are encouraged to become more successful and yes it is gender bias however as you were talking about at the start of your post boys and girls do learn differently and to change this we would have to change the way teachers teach to give everybody a chance to learn at the same speed.
As for homosexuality, bisexuality, and transsexuals at first i was discussed and ignorant of them and i did shun there way of life to me it was not normal or natural but throughout my life i have had friends that have come out of the closet so to speak and after being friends with them for so long and i still remain friends with them i have learned that people are who they are and nobody is defined by there sexuality alone. I also believe People who use there sexuality as a crutch ask for the abuse they get they see them selfs as different and choose to make people feel uncomfortable and beg for money instead of rising above and persevering. My thoughts are gender bias has to be changed by the way mother and fathers treat there new born children and tolerance on who their children become and no matter what their sexual preference is their own thats how i will choose to raise my children."
My friend, Kelly, who is working as a part time model and fashion designer with New York Fashion Week witnessed a riot about the gay rights at her place. When I told her I needed her opinion for my article, she was more than happy to share;
“I don’t know what’s wrong with the people. Why can’t they mind their own business instead of ruining other people’s life? I mean seriously, how hard is it to understand?!
If God has created them this way, who are we to decide their fate?
When I started my carreer as a model, I got Marc as my designer and make up artist. It was clear he was a gay. But that’s what I love about my industry, we don’t care. It’s the talent that matters.
And about Marc, he’s really sweet. That time I tell you, I couldn’t imagine one show without him.”
The one message i get from what she says is...we should not hate them just because they are not like us...we should learn to appreciate the beauty inside.
Recently there was some arguments going on about gay rights or gay marriage. And our Indian government legalised gay marriage. I was wondering how many people are really for it or against it and then I came across this guy “Chris” who is a graduate from the university of California and is an anarchist. He had a really different opinion about this subject. He wrote;
"As far as the civil rights movement right now is concerned, gay marriage is at the top of the list, and as a strict civil libertarian, you may expect me to be in full support of the movement; however, I am 100% against gay marriage. Hold on now, don't start crying "bigot" or questioning my libertarian credibility. I fully understand the implications of such an issue position, but it's not all that simple.
All marriages in the US have been ordained by the state for the past hundred years or so. Now, since we are actually treating homosexuals like humans, the question raised is "why shouldn't gays have the same rights to get married as heterosexuals?"
And in truth, that's not a valid question at all. But why? If homosexuals and heterosexuals are to be treated equally under the law, shouldn't homosexuals be allowed to married? Gays and heterosexuals are or, at least should be, equal under the law, but this issue isn't about "equality" or "justice" in any sense of the word.
Let's say that a federal amendment was passed that allowed gays the same political, economic, and social status as straight. Shouldn't polygamists be also granted the same equality? I say so, but don't mistake me for a slippery slope theorist. Here's where the brunt of the matter comes down: what about those of us who are single? Where is our equality under the law? Why should the single, probably the most neglected political minority, have to pay higher taxes because we either can't or choose not to get married?
To fully understand what I mean, you obviously would have to understand what it means to be married, not from experience, but in a political sense. The law, as of now, sanctions the unionization of one man and one woman under which they are subject to different taxes and different social status. Notice the word different: the world is different politically and financially for those of us who are married. So anyone who is unmarried, be them homosexual or heterosexual or polygamist or other, faces different laws. This straight up nullifies the idea of equality under the law.
Prior to the aforementioned hundred years, the state was not involved in the unionization of couples. Why? Because they where (are) not allowed to be involved in such matters. The state doesn't have and never had any business in the marriage issue. Prior to the state becoming involved in marriage, churches of various faiths granted unions as affirmation of God's consent to the unionization. At the root of the issue is the question: what is marriage? The answer is simple: a religious (or social) institution by which two (or more) people are join into a union. Notice how the word "state" is not included anywhere.
So let's say that marriage from the state is neither harmful nor beneficial to those who are wed. Everyone who wants to get married can; no one is having to pay more or less, but there is still one matter to be resolved: social status. Marriage comes with social status and so long as people are married, a social status will be juxtaposed upon it. As part of a free society, one could enter into a marriage and receive some social status in the same way a business person making lots of money earns social status. However, government allotting social status by way of civil unions or marriages undercuts idea of equality under the law. If we are to be equal under the law, the law should not be able to assign social status ie. the government should not be able to grant what gives us our social status.
The solution is simple, but no one is talking about it. The government should not be in any way be involved in marriage. The only proper place for governments in marriage is as the arbiter of contractual disputes if and when they happen. Every measure of government interference into marriage is a violation of the principle of equality under the law. The government has been violating this for over a century and all its actions into the matter are further violations. It just needs to get out! It needs to stop allocating any more of this different political, economic, and social status to anyone.
To anyone who is worried that gays, under church and social administration of marriage, would not be able participate in the institution, here's a quote from Ben Franklin: "Where there is marriage without love, there will be love without marriage." The truth is that you don't need marriage to have a meaningful relationship. The idea that you need others to sanction your relationship is archaic and harkens back to pre-Luther era religious zealotry. Yet all the more reason to get the state out of marriage as they are perpetuating the idea that love requires marriage while maintaining social partitioning."
Well there’s some interesting points he has put in.
That's about it. All I wanna say is we are all human before anything else and that’s what we should remember foremost. Everyone plays different and specific role in life and no one holds more important position than the other. A cliché it might sound but remember the old quote, “Live and Let live”.
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