“Freely you have received, freely you shall give” -Matthew 10:8

If you love something set it free.

If it comes back to you, it’s yours.

If it doesn’t, it never was.

The author of this famous sonnet chose to remain unknown and I can understand why. He or she might have wanted to avoid critics such as myself who would have eagerly corrected his or her version by replacing it with my own.

If you love something, grab it possessively with both hands.

Squeeze it tightly, so it can’t break free.

If it tries, squeeze harder.

Perhaps my version caused you to notice my slight bend toward possessiveness. I’m not exactly sure how C.P.D (Compulsive, Possessive Disorder) began, but I think it had something to do with being the youngest child and the only girl in a family with two older, adoring brothers. You might say I was a wee bit spoiled by their love and the idea of setting that love free, as the poem suggests, never crossed my mind.

The love I felt as a child only deepened after I had children of my own. I was overwhelmed by a deeper level of love, the kind that only a mama and her “baby birds,” as I like to call them, can share. It’s the kind of love so intense that you never want to set it free; the type that triggers C.P.D. in a person like me. Therefore, I kept my baby birds and my C.P.D. close to the nest where it felt safe and warm.

You can imagine how I felt recently when my oldest baby bird turned 18 and prepared to leave the safety and comfort of the nest I had created. Granted, she was only moving eight-minutes away and would be attending a Bible college program that would help her mature into a spiritually sound young woman. Nevertheless, I suddenly found myself face-to-face with my C.P.D. condition. It was then that I recalled that interesting little poem.

I had to let go. I had to set my baby free. But what if she couldn’t fly? What if I had failed to teach her everything she needed to know in order to succeed? Was setting her free the true essence of love?

One afternoon, when I web surfing, I happened upon some very interesting information from the Cornell Lab of Ornithology about baby birds leaving the nest.

"At some point or another, nearly everyone who spends time outdoors or who feeds backyard birds finds a baby bird, unable to fly very well. Our first impulse is to adopt this apparently helpless creature and try to raise it ourselves. But in most cases, the young bird doesn't need our help at all, and, in fact, we may be doing more harm than good.

It's to young birds' advantage to leave the nest as soon as they can. People tend to think of birds' nests as safe, cozy little homes. But actually a nest is rather a dangerous place. Parent birds work to raise their young and get them out of the nest as quickly as possible…enhancing their chances of survival."

I always assumed that squeezing tightly was the best way to ensure my baby birds’ survival. But I’m now beginning to understand that the opposite may be true . It’s the releasing that most helps those we love.

The same holds true in our relationship with God. Much like a Mama bird, God keeps us safely tucked in his nest for a period of time. It is there that he nurtures us, teaches us and guides us toward the things we will need for the future. Then, at just the right time, God releases us so that we can fly.

If anyone was justified in having Compulsive Possessive Disorder, I would have to say it’s God. He’s loved us since the beginning of time. We are His creation. He formed us in our mothers’ wombs. He’s known every single detail about us long before we ever came into existence. With that much of an emotional investment, you would think that God had a right to hold us tightly, yet He willingly sets us free. While we are really never out of His reach, He sets us free so that we can grow and choose. He lets us choose between right and wrong, between His way or our own way. He gives us an opportunity to apply everything He taught us in the nest. His love alone ensures our survival. God knows that by setting us free, His endless love will cause us to return to Him stronger in faith than when we first left the nest.

Recognizing the unselfish kind of love God has for us has enabled me to gradually release the tight grip I had on my own baby bird. Make no mistake, however. I’m still keeping a close eye on her as she learns to survive. But I’m reminded that God is watching too. And under His watchful eye, she will fly. So will I and so will you

Maybe the unknown author of this famous verse drew inspiration from Matthew 10:8, “Freely you have received, freely you shall give.” God gives of His love so freely. No strings attached, no tight and suffocating grip; just love. And in His love, He sets us free, so that we may fly. How much more enriched our relationships would be if we could remember this simple principle. Give your love freely so others can fly. For love has been freely given to you.