After finding out that we were having twins, I experienced several different emotions.  I was certainly relieved that everything was okay after being worried that we had miscarried, but I was also scared out of my mind.

What did this mean?  Were they identical or fraternal?  Would I have to see a specialist?  What are the risks? Could we afford it? And lastly, how in the heck do you take care of two babies!

It didn’t matter, for whatever reason we were blessed with this and we were going to take it all in stride.  That doesn’t mean I didn’t freak out every now and then, but I am pretty sure that’s normal. In the beginning of my pregnancy, I spent several weeks on bed rest because the morning sickness or, all day sickness seems more appropriate, had become so bad.  In addition, as if that were not enough, more pregnancy symptoms also started to arise.  I had terrible heartburn and gas, I was constipated, my nose bled all the time, I was exhausted and I had terrible headaches.  There were days when I thought it would never end and I was so scared that this was how I was going to feel for the rest of my life.

Luckily, that wasn’t the case.  I feel much better now! So between the physical and emotional changes I was going through, to put it simply, I was a mess.  Like many other first time moms, I had a vision of what being pregnant was like.  My fantasy did not include lying on the bathroom floor in front of the toilet praying for sweet relief, or heartburn so bad I had to sleep sitting up for seven months. It certainly didn’t include acne like I had when I was 13 and going through puberty, or even having to sit down in the shower because I was too tired to wash my hair. And most of all, it didn’t include the complications that went along with having twins.  Just in case I haven’t made it perfectly clear, pregnancy was nothing like I expected.  I sure didn’t expect it to only last 29 weeks!

As the pregnancy progressed, so did the complications. Yet, looking back it all seems like a strange dream. I can’t help but look at my perfect two little babies now and think that there was no way any of that happened.  How could such a difficult experience filled with sickness and fear turn into the best thing that ever happened to me?  I don’t know if I will ever know the answer to that question, but in the end I can honestly say, I would do it all over again!

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