If you've ever found your self talking to a girl that you wish you would later be doing more than just talking to (if you catch my drift,) you know how difficult it is to come up with the right words. Or even any words.

As a fun experiment, next time you are in a social gathering, see if you can listen in on a conversation where someone's intentions are fairly obvious based on the words they are using. It's interesting to detect when the flow of conversation changes subtlety from natural to trying to steer it to a specific outcome.

Imagine if you were given a set of golf clubs, a few balls, and left on golf course without any instruction other than get as low a score as possible. No idea how to swing the club, no idea what the different numbers on the clubs mean, no clue as to what to do if you landed in one of those big holes filled with sand.

Trying to steer the outcome of a first conversation towards a sexual encounter can be just as difficult and frustrating. No rules, no ideas what words to use, how to gauge your progress, how to know when to call it quits and move on to another target.

There are specific techniques that you can learn to use, that when used properly will give you as much skill with social conversations as Tiger Woods has on the golf course. (Just don't expect any million dollar endorsement deals!)

One of the most powerful techniques is eliciting and leveraging criteria. A criterion is what is important to somebody. If you are buying a car, whatever qualities you want in the car are your criteria. Red, V8, five speed, etc.

When you are talking to the object of your sexual desire, a great way to introduce the type of criteria you want is to steer the conversation towards relationships. (I don't recommend asking them what's important to them in a one-night stand, for obvious reasons.)

Once you start talking about relationships, you can ask them about past boyfriends or girlfriends, what they liked about them. Get them talking about what qualities they imagine enjoying in future boyfriends and girlfriends.

This does three very powerful things. One, because you are talking about relationships in general, it gives them the illusion that you are not overtly trying to pick them up. Second, it makes you look good because are interested in something deep about them, instead of blathering on trying to impress her with your accomplishments. And thirdly, and perhaps most powerfully, while they are talking about the things that are important to them in a significant other, merely by talking to you about them, they will begin to unconsciously associate those qualities with you.

Of course, because this is a very powerful technique, it is easy to misuse this to easily manipulate her into sexual encounters that she will later likely regret. She'll tell her friends that she didn't know what came over her; she just felt an incredibly intense and wonderful emotional connection. But then the next day the guy just disappeared.

As tempting as it may be to use this powerful technique for easy and numerous sexual encounters, if used unethically, there will be consequences. Just like any powerful tool, it can be used for mutual benefit, or for selfish benefit at the expense of others.

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