This is an attempt to be humorously helpful without being dreadfully doctrinaire.

[image: lightworkers.org]

Brainwashed: And How to Defeat it

According to Nielsen, the typical American adult watches television 5 hours per day. That amounts to 1825 hours per year. What fertile grounds for planting bad thoughts, for watering them, and for bending minds against your will! The Madison Avenue boys must be constantly doing back flips.

Let’s fact it: We are all brainwashed. Some more than others. You know it every time you go out to purchase something. And you do go out shopping a lot, don’t you? Of course, you do. And if you haven’t got the time or the money, you shop online and you charge it. But you are really being herded like sheep—to the kool aid where you drink willingly and excessively. And you love it. Your life is not your own. Even your thoughts are under the direction of the big spenders—those rich boys who have all the wealth, and who intend to keep it while adding more and more to it from you to them. While they keep you poor and in their control. It’s how the rich get richer (that’s them), and how the suckers get poorer (that’s you).

Don’t believe me? Look around at everything in your view. What do you see? Name products, advertised products. If Arnold Palmer encourages it, you buy it. What does he know that you don’t? Nothing. But you buy it just the same. For good ol’ Arnie. Of course, he is worth something north of $500 million. But what do you care? Shucks, he’s just a good old down home kind of guy. No harm there.

Horsefeathers! Wake up and listen as your brain rots. You are a duped dufus! Just multiply yourself by 100 or 200 million, and you have the stuff of mass marketing that would have Josef Goebbels slobbering in his grave with envy.

OK, so you are still not convinced. Try these on for size: What is the name of your bank? If it’s any one of those 7,000 corporate banks (Chase, Bank of America, etc.) you are being taken. If your house is in a neighborhood where they all look pretty much alike, you are being taken. If you vacation at one of the hot spots where everyone else goes, you are being taken. If you workout, jog, pray, sing, dance, or watch movies along with the crowd, you are one of the sheep. If the clothes you wear, the car you drive, the school you attend (or attended), your boring resume, or your hairstyle (assuming you’ve got any hair left), you are a walking zombie. To sum it up, you are the poster boy for every thing you believe you are not, but you really are.

Now, given all this, what chance do you think you have for ever finding something that is original, a part of your inner soul, something that is uniquely you? The answer of course is nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Not a freaking thing. You are a lost soul, hopeless, and you haven’t got a clue.

Until now. That’s right. Uncle Ed is here to save the day! I am going to rescue your sorry bones from…yourself! And it’s all free. I won’t charge you a dime. And why not? I am way past the age of stupidity, and well into the age of hopelessly incorrigible. And I need a couple of points in Heaven before I check out of this world. So I am not entirely a philanthropist or a do gooder.

Read this list closely because the words flow from my innermost concern for humanity. That, plus I really dislike most of those rich kids at the top who keep on sucking up more and more. And the Madison Avenue boys bore the crap out of me. I just love slapping them around.

Here is my list of things that can help you break the habit of working for the rich, while becoming independent. They are in no particular order. All are important.

Rule 1. Turn off the TV.
Rule 2. If you need to taper off, at least use the “mute” button every time a commercial comes on. And look away while it plays.
Rule 3. If you feel withdrawal pains, go for a walk. If you are desperate, jog.
Rule 4. Close your bank account, and open an account with a credit union. Move all your checking and savings needs to it. Have but one credit card and one debit card. You will love yourself for this move, trust me.
Rule 5. Make a list of 5 things you enjoy doing that cost nothing.
Rule 6. Do the things in Rule 5.
Rule 7. Lose some weight. Get rid of all your junk food. Replace them with healthy items.
Rule 8. Exercise a lot. Drink more water.
Rule 9. Stop smoking.
Rule 10. Read more.
Rule 11. Listen to soothing, relaxing music. Smooth jazz works for me. A little classical helps also. Drink a glass of wine.
Rule 12. Give a little more to good, worthy charities. If you don’t trust any, donate food and clothing items to local charities that help the poor.
Rule 13. Take a drive in the countryside.
Rule 14. Watch a sunset. Go for a walk in the moonlight with someone.
Rule 15. Kiss somebody.
Rule 16. Encourage somebody, preferably a kid.
Rule 17. Tell somebody you love them. Caution: Not every time you see them!
Rule 18. Learn how to think logically, endure emotionally, and grow spiritually. Read and practice these arts often.
Rule 19. Laugh more. Cry more. Dance more. Romance more.
Rule 20. Help somebody with something worthwhile.

Repeat the above list often and you are almost certain to regain your sanity, your self-control, and your likeability factor. The propagandists won’t have a snowball’s chance with you. And remember: The richest person is not the one who has the most, but the one who needs the least. If even one propagandist now hates me because of this diatribe, my job is done. End of sermon.