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Being the parent of a developmentally challenged child is difficult. My son has Pervasive Developmental Disorder.
Being the parent of a developmentally challenged child is difficult. My son has Pervasive Developmental Disorder.
We see articles and books about our children that may or may not give us insight on our children, but what about the parents? How do parents cope with the news that their child isn’t normal? How do we cope on an everyday basis?
I can remember when my son first started showing signs that something just wasn’t right. All skills he had previously mastered, slowly disappeared. His symptoms got worse before they got better. His sleep patterns changed and I was lucky to get three hours of sleep at night.
I was so tired from my job as a floor tech, that my husband and I realized that I had to quit soon. I eventually quit my job and become a stay at home mom. I couldn’t be a floor tech anymore. It was too dangerous for me and those around me.
Once he peeled the paneling off the wall with his cousin. My sister was my babysitter at the time. She informed me that she couldn’t watch him anymore. I can’t say that I blame her. I checked around town at different childcare centers. They all said they didn’t have the resources to deal with a child like mine.
Caring for an autistic child is not an easy task. When you are a parent and the primary caregiver, it becomes your responsibility to take care of that child.
When you first find out your child has a condition that falls under the Pervasive Developmental Disorder Umbrella, it is a very emotional time. You are on a emotional roller coaster that seems to never end. You blame the doctors at first. You convince yourself they are ignorant and don’t know what they are talking about. You tell yourself they have no idea what you are going through.
Then, you tend to shift blame to yourself or your partner. Many couples I know have separated because of this. Each one of them believes it is the others fault, or their opinions and views on how to raise their child differ.
As a mother, I blamed myself. If I had only done this, if I had only done that. What did I do wrong? When you go out in public, people gawk and stare when they finally see that something is not normal about that child.
I have taken it upon myself to pass out cards that I made and let them know what Autism is and what it is not. I finally fell to my knees and asked God, ”Why me! Why me!” I know the answer now. It is Why NOT Me. It is said that God never puts more on us than we can endure.
At times, we are tested to the point that we feel we cannot handle the pressure and responsibilities anymore. Being a parent of an autistic child is not an easy task. It has taught me to be more patient and understanding than I ever thought was possible.
It has also taught me to never give up, have faith and believe in your child. Understanding what an individual with disabilities goes through is hard.
As parents, we all have to be patient and understanding. If you see a child act up in a grocery store, what is the first thing you think about that child and/or parent? How many of you say, “If that was my child I’d...?” I used to think that way.
A child with Pervasive Developmental Disorders may scream, lay on the ground, throw a tantrum. Sounds normal for a spoiled rotten child doesn’t it?
In actuality, the child is possibly reacting to:
1)Sensory Processing problems.
2)Too many people in one place at one time.
3)A fluorescent light buzz that we cannot hear.
These are just some of the possibilities.
If you see a toddler regressing from things he or she has learned, take them to see the Doctor. Err on the side of caution. The sooner a child with this type of disability gets the help needed, the better the outcome.
If you are concerned about someone, I urge you to read articles, search the web and get information on Autism and related disorders. The more informed you are, the better.
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