Last week, I pondered on a serious question.
Do I accept myself with all of my perceived "shortcomings"?
Have I accepted my 'shortcomings' such as: fear, impatience, need for connection, or supper sensitivity without judging myself as defective?
Is my acceptance of ‘shortcomings’ apparent in my daily actions and behavior?
How do we know if we have accepted ourselves?
One clue is how much attention and energy we put into getting approval from others. This may include not sharing our deep feelings (fear of judgement) and/or our opinions (offending others) with the primary focus of presenting an image of ourselves that the world wants us to see.
If we accept how we are at the moment, do we care if others accept us or not?
Let us look at some of the benefits of self-acceptance:
- It is miserable being alone with someone (ourselves) who does not approve of who we are.
- If we accept ourselves, then we feel we deserve to be happy.
- If we accept ourselves, we do not demand others to change.
- Self-acceptance creates a sense of peace, confidence and freedom.
I invite you to ponder on two questions.
Do you accept yourself?
How does self-acceptance manifest in your life?
Copyright .2022 by Shervin Hojat
At the turning point in the hospital after surgery rendered my arms and hands atrophied and paralyzed to the point where I could no longer hold a pen in my right hand and write but could still handle utensils enough to feed myself with my left hand, but not write anything until I got a metal hand splint that allowed me to grip a pen and began writing with my right arm again from the shoulder. Much easier than learning to write and hold the pen left-handed.
Of course I wanted to go back to the way I lived before. I perceived myself generally the same, but drew the line on what I could or could not do unless I had technology that would enable me to overcome the physical loss. Like the electric wheelchair when I could no longer walk, the high tech driving system when I could no longer drive a car unmodified. Each stage of my creeping paralysis required a self-assessment. Another profound change was when I gave up maintaining my household alone and had to hire others to maintain it and me.
But all in all, at my final stage of life where I have outlived already half of my contemporaries and am still quite healthy with only deteriorating hearing and increasing paralysis, I am quite accepting of my plight and place in life. Not quite what I would have expected, but not far from what I would have done anyway.
Ron